From Publishers Weekly
This sensible self-help book draws on family-systems therapy in recommending thoughtful "self-focus" for women stuck in difficult relationships with either mates or families. Emphasizing that "a truly intimate relationship is one in which we can be who we are, which means being open about ourselves," Lerner ( The Dance of Anger ; Women in Therapy ) highlights the importance of women defining themselves, their needs and limits, rather than reacting to anxiety unthinkingly--either by emotionally distancing themselves from problems or by overreacting. A staff psychologist and psychotherapist at the Menninger Clinic, Lerner illustrates her points with case studies from her family as well as her practice. To explore what unhelpful patterns of behavior may be passed down from past generations, she advises creating a genogram, or family diagram, going back to a person's grandparents or earlier. Lerner's book presumes at least an acquaintance with professional jargon but should be accessible to most readers of pop psychology. Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Book Description

The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships -- be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.And she teaches us about "the differences that make a difference" -- the changes we can make in one or two significant relationships that will affect our capacity for intimacy and selfhood for a lifetime.

The Dance of Intimacy offers no "quick fix" for the human dilemma that we all confront. Instead, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, respectful, and helpful insights on intimate relationships that both men and women may ever encounter. Picking up where the best-selling The Dance of Anger left off, Dr. Lerner redefines the meaning of intimacy for today, and shows how good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones healed.

ANNOTATION

A careful look at those relationships in which intimacy is most challenged by too much distance, too much anger, or simply too much pain.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged—by distance, intensity, or pain—she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

SYNOPSIS

In this classic, bestselling work, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (The Dance of Connection), details the steps to follow so that good relationships may be strengthened and difficult ones may be healed. By examining those relationships where intimacy is most challenged -- by distance, intensity, or pain -- Dr.

FROM THE CRITICS

Maggie Scarf

Subtle and literate, The Dance of Intimacy is like a long, revealing conversation with a wise and compassionate friend.

Carol C. Nadelson

Dr. Lerner has a truly remarkable ability to analyze our problems with intimacy. She has written a hopeful, respectful, and transforming book.

Lillian B. Rubin