From Booklist
The commander-in-chief has called Friedman "a Texas legend," but the Kinkster hardly mentions GW a-tall, filling these pages instead with "Things You Would Never Hear a Real Texan Say" ("I'll have a decaf latte, please") and "The Texas Celebrity High School Football Hall of Fame," which reminds us that Tommy Lee Jones was guard for the Saint Mark's School of Texas Lions in Dallas. The Kinkster includes an invaluable glossary, "Texas Talk" (e.g., "'turd floater'--a very heavy downpour"); waxes poetic about the Alamo, the Yellow Rose, and Luckenbach; cracks wise about the weather, Aggies (Texas A & M students and alums), and armadillos; and quotes Willie Nelson, the Zen Texan featured in Friedman's 1997 mystery, Road Kill: "If you ain't crazy, there's something wrong with you." Interspersed with all the Texas ephemera are articles Friedman published first in such magazines as Rolling Stone and High Times, on topics ranging from the roots of Texas rock 'n' roll to the late Ace Reid, "the world's greatest cowboy cartoonist." Benjamin Segedin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved


Book Description

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Delivering belly laughs, hee-haws, and downright slackjaw amazement, this hilarious guide to the homeland of George W. and Willie Nelson is the essential how-to for surviving in the Lone Star State. From strange Texas laws and the history of Dr. Pepper to "Texas Talk" (in which a "turd floater" is a heavy downpour) and final-meal requests by death row inmates, Kinky Friedman, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate," provides an insider's guide that will be loved by native Texans and the rest of us poor devils alike.

Even if you don't know the difference between an Aggie and an armadillo -- or what's really in the back on Willie Nelson's tour bus -- you can pass for a Texan with the Kinkster's expert coaching. So grab your hairspray and the keys to the Cadillac and get reading!


About the Author
Kinky Friedman is the author of sixteen mysteries and a columnist for Texas Monthly. He lives with his two cats, three dogs, a pet armadillo, countless imaginary horses, and a much-used Smith Corona typewriter on a ranch in the Texas Hill Country.

FROM OUR EDITORS

The Barnes & Noble Review
Get out your hairspray and cowboy boots and hop into your Cadillac -- Kinky Friedman is back to "teach the rest of the world how to act right, like we do in Texas." From bizarre Texas laws to local lore, from the Aggies to the Alamo, the Kinkster will teach you what you need to know to survive in the Lone Star State.

When Texas' former governor took up residence in the White House, Kinky realized that the country must have some unanswered questions about the state that "gave the world the cowboy." Responding to this need, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate" offers a guide to his homeland, which gave birth to an airport larger than the island of Manhattan; America's oldest soft drink, Dr. Pepper; and a mystifying creature known as the Texas Big Hair.

"Texas, as most people know," says Kinky, "has lived under six flags, which can create a high degree of cultural attention deficit disorder." Texas has responded by creating a culture all its own, including laws that "require criminals to give their victims twenty-four hour notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed" and where "you can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife three times." From urinating outdoors ("the most sacred inalienable right of all citizens of the Lone Star State") to the history of the Alamo (upon which, incidentally, it is illegal to urinate), from touring with Willie Nelson ("There is no truth to the widely held belief that Willie needs the other two buses to carry all the weed he smokes on the first bus") to the truth behind the Yellow Rose of Texas, the Kinkster digs deep into his ten-gallon hat for more hilarious facts, tips, and jokes than you can shake a stick at. He also offers a guide to the Texan language, defining words like "catty whompus" and "larrupin," and lists Actual Quotes from Actual Texas Politicians like House Speaker Gib Lewis ("I move we recess to go outside and throw up"). And for newcomers, there is a quiz to help you decide, "Redneck, Good Old Boy, or Oilman: What Kind of Texan Are You?"

With lists of famous celebrities from Texas (and famous Texans not from Texas), local heroes, countless cartoons by Ace Reid, "the world's greatest cowboy cartoonist," an Armadillo Fast Fact File, and more, Kinky Friedman will put a smile on your face bigger than your belt buckle. Think his Guide to Texas Etiquette will give you a hearty laugh? As they say Texas, "U-betcha." (Elise Vogel)

FROM THE PUBLISHER