In one of literary history's ghastlier ironies, Iris Murdoch, the author of such highly intellectual and philosophical novels as A Severed Head and Under the Net, was diagnosed in 1994 with Alzheimer's disease, which slowly destroys reasoning powers, memory, even the ability to speak coherently. Her husband, English literary critic John Bayley, unsparingly depicts his wife's affliction in prose as elegant and accessible as hers always was. Readers may wince at the spectacle of Murdoch glued to the TV watching the Teletubbies program, unable to perform tasks as simple as dressing herself and prey to devastating anxiety as the world becomes less and less comprehensible to her. We understand Bayley's occasional fits of rage when his caretaking chores overwhelm him. Yet in the end his memoir is touching, even inspiring. As he recalls their first meetings and marriage in the 1950s, it becomes clear that theirs was always an unconventional union, in which solitude was as important to each of them as togetherness and Bayley was content to let Murdoch keep her inner life to herself. He loves Iris, the woman, not the intellect, and he conveys an essential sweetness about his wife that endures even as her mental faculties deteriorate. This totally unsentimental account of their life and her illness is nonetheless a heartbreaker. --Wendy Smith


From Publishers Weekly
It is seldom that someone at once so brilliant and so visible as novelist Iris Murdoch develops Alzheimer's disease in full public view; seldom, also, that a sufferer from this dreadful malady has so skilled and loving an interpreter by her side. Bayley, a noted literary critic (and, recently, novelist) in his own right, has been married to Murdoch for 40 years, and part of the charm of this enormously affecting memoir lies in the ways in which he shows the affections of old age as in no way slower than the passions of youth. Murdoch was already a dashing and rather mysterious figure when she and Bayley met in the Oxford of the 1950s; she was a philosophy don at a women's college who had just written a much-admired first novel; he was a bright, rather naive graduate student. Something mutually childlike clicked between them, however, and a naked swim in the River Isis (which later became a fond habit lasting even into Iris's illness) cemented their loving friendship. Writing with great tenderness and grace, Bayley evokes their long, warm, mutually trusting marriage, and introduces in the gentlest way the moments, four years ago, when he realized that his wife's sense of reality and of herself were slipping away. She is now anxious, repetitious and often nonsensical in her speech, but still suffused with the same quizzical sweetness and absolute trust he loved in her from the start. Few people afflicted with an Alzheimer's partner can be as self-effacing and endlessly patient as Bayley, but in a way almost as mysterious as the creation of a Murdoch novel, he evokes depths of understanding and warmth that seem scarcely ruffled by the breezes of the conscious mind. This beautiful book could hardly help being deeply consoling to anyone thus afflicted; it is also a compelling study of the overthrow of a remarkable spirit. First serial to the New Yorker. Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Library Journal
English author and philosopher Iris Murdoch is best known for her novels, which are filled with characters embroiled in philosophical conflicts. In this memoir, her husband, a renowned literary critic, presents his insights into her creativity, her personality, and their relationship. Even after 42 years of marriage, Murdoch remains an enigma to him. Though he always felt safe and comfortable with her?"protected from the world"?he had "no idea of what she was doing or how." She seemed to spread "an involuntary aura of beneficence and goodwill," yet it was in her ceaseless invention that she seemed to live most fully. Reminiscences of the past are juxtaposed with the reality of the present, in which Bayley tries to cope with the daily frustrations of caring for Murdoch now that she has Alzheimer's disease. His bouts of worry, anger, and pity are always tempered by his deep concern for her welfare. This book will appeal to Murdoch fans and is appropriate for public and academic libraries.?Ilse Heidmann, San Marcos, TXCopyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.


The New York Times Book Review, Mary Gordon
[Elegy for Iris] is a celebration of the mystery of human connection, which marriage metonymically enacts.... In its evocation of the lyrical, the comic and the tragic, this splendid book enlarges our imagination of the range and possibilities of love.


The Los Angeles Times Sunday Book Review, Abraham Verghese
...Bayley's memoir offers a touching and decidedly British look at who Murdoch was beyond the pages of her books. What is most refreshing about Elegy for Iris is how well Bayley has captured the complex, layered, rich, rewarding and confounding nature of a life lived with another and yet demonstrates how challenging it is to take measure of a marriage.


From Kirkus Reviews
A sweet if somewhat old-fashioned memoir about a literary marriage. Bayley, author of the novel The Red Hat and a noted critic, met novelist and philosopher Dame Iris Murdoch (Jackson's Dilemma, 1996, etc.) while he was teaching at Oxford's St. Anthony's College and instantly came under her sway. Though Murdoch was less quick to return his affection, she too fell in love after a delightfully disastrous date in which a well-advertised restaurant served them ``nasty'' food and Murdoch herself fell down some stairs on her way to the dance floor; these mishaps unearthed the couple's deepest connection: a fine sense of humor, indeed, their joy in private jokes and laughs. In her time, Murdoch was a woman of unconventional intelligence and independenceshe had a long string of lovers, did not want children, had an almost slovenly disregard for her appearance, and was in no hurry to get married, though she never seems to have doubted that Bayley should be the groom. Using flashbacks, Bayley lightens his accounts of Murdoch's present disappearance into Alzheimer's disease with happier memories of their long, comfortable life together, a life filled with trips, summer swims, and pleasure in books. Bayley clearly adores and admires his celebrated wife, and his care of her illness is a model of devotion. This unalloyed affection is refreshingly sweet, but too often his descriptions of Murdoch edge over into the saccharinefor him she is ``Christ-like''and the result is an unusual lack of insight into her abilities. Would the woman who never took any interest in children really have ``looked after [her own child] better and more conscientiously than most mothers, and no doubt would have brought it up better, too''? Nonetheless, this seems an appropriate error for a loving husband to make, and the book's intimate tone will surely please both his fans and hers. (6 b&w photos, not seen) (First serial to the New Yorker) -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.


Review
"This splendid book enlarges our imagination of the range and possibilities of love." --Mary Gordon, The New York Times Book Review

"Magnificently, hauntingly humane." --Michael Pakenham, The Baltimore Sun

"Bayley's restrained and elegant love song to his wife of 42 years . . . is beautiful and heartbreaking. Full of spirit, generous and resilient." --Gail Caldwell, The Boston Globe

"A beautifully rendered portrait . . . Bayley reaffirms how suffering can ennoble the human heart. [Elegy for Iris] is an affecting remembrance of one of the great literary marriages of our time. It celebrates the victory of life--and love." --Wendell Brock, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

"A heart-melting love story and an erudite inquiry into the nature of personality, memory, and invention. Wise and full of grace." --Shelby Hearon, The Chicago Tribune

"Elegy for Iris is a work of art. As beautiful as it is wise, Elegy for Iris has already become a classic memoir and a remedy for modern love. Read it and, if you dare, give it to someone you love." -Tom D'Evelyn, Providence Sunday Journal

"Here, between the covers of an incredible book, is love . . . that doesn't hedge, love for which there are no ready outs, love that feels as inevitable as breathing, and the result is stunning." --Abraham Verghese,The Los Angeles Times Book Review

"Heartfelt and admirably unsentimental . . . a testament to a love that has endured and transcended the most terrifying ravages of illness and old age." --Francine Prose, Elle


"In Elegy for Iris I find my mother and father, my wife's parents, our friends, and us. I find shared lives, and hurts and forgivenesses, and joys that are greatest because nobody else knows them." --Dan Rather



Review
"This splendid book enlarges our imagination of the range and possibilities of love." --Mary Gordon, The New York Times Book Review

"Magnificently, hauntingly humane." --Michael Pakenham, The Baltimore Sun

"Bayley's restrained and elegant love song to his wife of 42 years . . . is beautiful and heartbreaking. Full of spirit, generous and resilient." --Gail Caldwell, The Boston Globe

"A beautifully rendered portrait . . . Bayley reaffirms how suffering can ennoble the human heart. [Elegy for Iris] is an affecting remembrance of one of the great literary marriages of our time. It celebrates the victory of life--and love." --Wendell Brock, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

"A heart-melting love story and an erudite inquiry into the nature of personality, memory, and invention. Wise and full of grace." --Shelby Hearon, The Chicago Tribune

"Elegy for Iris is a work of art. As beautiful as it is wise, Elegy for Iris has already become a classic memoir and a remedy for modern love. Read it and, if you dare, give it to someone you love." -Tom D'Evelyn, Providence Sunday Journal

"Here, between the covers of an incredible book, is love . . . that doesn't hedge, love for which there are no ready outs, love that feels as inevitable as breathing, and the result is stunning." --Abraham Verghese,The Los Angeles Times Book Review

"Heartfelt and admirably unsentimental . . . a testament to a love that has endured and transcended the most terrifying ravages of illness and old age." --Francine Prose, Elle


"In Elegy for Iris I find my mother and father, my wife's parents, our friends, and us. I find shared lives, and hurts and forgivenesses, and joys that are greatest because nobody else knows them." --Dan Rather



Review
"This splendid book enlarges our imagination of the range and possibilities of love." --Mary Gordon, The New York Times Book Review

"Magnificently, hauntingly humane." --Michael Pakenham, The Baltimore Sun

"Bayley's restrained and elegant love song to his wife of 42 years . . . is beautiful and heartbreaking. Full of spirit, generous and resilient." --Gail Caldwell, The Boston Globe

"A beautifully rendered portrait . . . Bayley reaffirms how suffering can ennoble the human heart. [Elegy for Iris] is an affecting remembrance of one of the great literary marriages of our time. It celebrates the victory of life--and love." --Wendell Brock, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

"A heart-melting love story and an erudite inquiry into the nature of personality, memory, and invention. Wise and full of grace." --Shelby Hearon, The Chicago Tribune

"Elegy for Iris is a work of art. As beautiful as it is wise, Elegy for Iris has already become a classic memoir and a remedy for modern love. Read it and, if you dare, give it to someone you love." -Tom D'Evelyn, Providence Sunday Journal

"Here, between the covers of an incredible book, is love . . . that doesn't hedge, love for which there are no ready outs, love that feels as inevitable as breathing, and the result is stunning." --Abraham Verghese,The Los Angeles Times Book Review

"Heartfelt and admirably unsentimental . . . a testament to a love that has endured and transcended the most terrifying ravages of illness and old age." --Francine Prose, Elle


"In Elegy for Iris I find my mother and father, my wife's parents, our friends, and us. I find shared lives, and hurts and forgivenesses, and joys that are greatest because nobody else knows them." --Dan Rather



Book Description
With remarkable tenderness, John Bayley recreates his passionate love affair with Iris Murdoch--world-renowned writer and philosopher, and his wife of forty-two years--and poignantly describes the dimming of her brilliance due to Alzheimer's disease. Elegy for Iris is a story about the ephemeral beauty of youth and the sobering reality of what it means to grow old, but its ultimate power is that Bayley discovers great hope and joy in his celebration of Iris's life and their love. In its grasp of life's frailty and its portrayal of one of the great literary romances of this century, Elegy for Iris is a mesmerizing work of art that will be read for generations.



From the Publisher
John Bayley, who has been married to Iris Murdoch for over forty years, has written one of the most extraordinary memoirs of recent years. With great compassion he re-creates their passionate love affair and poignantly describes the mask that has ineluctably descended over Iris's being with the progression of her Alzheimer's disease. It is Bayley's accomplishment to find the glimmers of Iris's old self that break through the barriers of her disease, and to share with us his message of hope and joy.


About the Author
John Bayley is an eminent literary critic who taught at Oxford for more than 30 years, and was chairman of the Booker Prize Committee. Iris Murdoch died in February of 1999.

ANNOTATION

The noted literary critic & novelist recounts his life with, and love for, the renowned author Iris Murdoch, who in the last years of her life suffered from Alzheimer's.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

"I was living in a fairy story - the kind with sinister overtones and not always a happy ending - in which a young man loves a beautiful maiden who returns his love but is always disappearing into some unknown and mysterious world, about which she will reveal nothing."

So writes John Bayley about his wife, Iris Murdoch, the eminent novelist and philosopher, who died at age 79 of Alzheimer's disease. With great compassion he re-creates their life together and poignantly describes the mask that descended over Iris's being with the progression of her disease. It is Bayley's accomplishment to find the glimmers of Iris's old self that break through the barriers, and to share with us his message of hope and joy.

Tolstoyan in its grasp of life's frailty, and mesmerizing in its portrayal of one of the great literary romances of this century, ELEGY FOR IRIS is a consummate work of art.

FROM THE CRITICS

Regina Marler - New York Observer

This is a sad and loving reflection, but it can be read as the ultimate diaper-airing...this is a sickbed memoir, grossly limited and limiting. While Mr. Bayley offers an intimate view of his senile wife, he cannot offer a portrait of a brilliant and esteemed writer -- the Iris, presumably, for whom one would write an elegy.

Francine Prose - Mirabella

A testament to a love that has endured and transcended the most terrifying ravages of illness and old age.

Christopher Lehmann-Haupt - The New York Times

What makes [Iris Murdoch] alive in these pages is her husband's love, which is so absolute and mysterious that it pervades every word he writes....What brought them together was...the discovery of the children in each other....in Elegy for Iris, Mr. Bayley celebrated his beloved partner's survival.

Gail Caldwell

Beautiful and heartbreaking. —The Boston Globe

Carolyn G. Heilbrun

I would neverhaving read [Bayley's] literary criticismhave suspected him capable of this book: a portrait of a thriving marriage we must regard as close to unique. —The Women's Review of Books Read all 11 "From The Critics" >

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

A solitary life is splendid, provided you can lead it with someone else. That's paradoxical, but it's extremely true in our case. We've always had that sort of life; she had her life, and I had mine. And now one can have that same sort of thing. I do have that solitary life because she's there, and I couldn't have it on my own. It would simply disappear....She is not sailing into the dark. The voyage is over, and under the dark escort of Alzheimer's, she has arrived somewhere. So have I.
-- Interviewed in The New York Times, December 20, 1998 — John Bayley