From School Library Journal
PreSchool-K - An adoptive mother tells her daughter all of the reasons why she is a "real mother," even though they do not look alike - "does a real mother drive to Parker's house to pick up Polar Bear [her stuffed animal] when you've left him there?" Page after page of heartwarming examples are presented as the parent and child are portrayed in large, realistic-looking, mixed-media illustrations. One spread shows them frolicking on a trampoline surrounded by yellow forsythia bushes; the girl's happiness is clearly expressed on her face and the mother seems to be jumping right off the page. Adoptive parents will welcome another chance to show their love through the sharing of this cheerful book. - Blair Christolon, Prince William Public Library System, Manassas, VA Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


From Booklist
PreS. Families experienced in transracial adoption will want this picture book, which beautifully captures the intimate, loving bond between parent and child and the moment when the child first confronts the fact that she looks different from her parent. Mom is blond. Her brown-skinned child looks Asian or mixed race. The exuberant pictures show the fun they have together and the love they share as they cook, drive to pick up a toy bear the child left with a friend, and play with their puppy. Mom teaches her daughter the alphabet and how to tie her shoes and brush her teeth, and when the child falls, Mom puts 20 bandages on the bruised knee. Framed by all the fun is that central question: "I know you love me, Mom. But why don't you look like me?" Mom explains about the birth mother ("She started your life, and I am thankful to her every day for that"), and finally, the child celebrates her "kiss-smothering" real mother. Hazel Rochman
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved


Book Description
What are some of the qualities of a real mother? She*s nurturing--she*ll let you put twenty Band-Aids on a bruised knee when you only need one; she*s dedicated--she*ll drive miles out of her way to retrieve your beloved bear left behind; she*s playful--she catches fireflies with you after bedtime . . . and much, much more. Drawn from the author*s everyday life as an adoptive parent, this cheerful yet tender parent-child conversation offers a response to children who*ve ever asked an adoptive parent why they don*t look like one another. Gentle, lighthearted watercolors by Christy Hale complete the picture of a very special relationship. Here is an invaluable companion for adopted children--and the adults who love them--as they explore the emotional realities of a different kind of family.


About the Author
Christy Hale has illustrated numerous children*s books, including the award-winning Elizabeti series. She lives in Palo Alto, California Molly Friedrich is a literary agent who has adopted children from Vietnam and Guatemala. She lives in New York.

ANNOTATION

After an adoptive mother tells her daughter all the reasons that she is her "real mother," the young girl realizes that her mother is right, even though they do not look alike.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly

In her first book, literary agent Friedrich takes on a hot-button topic for adoptive parents and children and offers a sensitive response to an inevitable declaration. "You know, Mom, you're not my real mother," a pigtailed Asian girl, looking wistfully in a mirror, tells her blonde mommy. Writing from direct experience, Friedrich crafts a thoughtful dialogue between mother and daughter that probes what "real" can mean. "Does a real mother teach you the alphabet and how to count to a hundred by tens?" the mother asks. "And does a real mother love you, hug you, smother you with kisses...?" The book's high point comes when the mother addresses the loaded question, "But why don't you look like me?" Her answer, loving but honest, bolsters the girl's confidence, and the narrative voice switches as the child lists all the ways her mother makes her happy ("You jump with me on the trampoline!"). Hale's (the Elizabeti books) emotive if occasionally inconsistent portraits of the girl engaged in everyday activities with her mother-brushing teeth, cooking dinner-underscore the duo's close connection, and the pages thrum with joy (the ebullient family dog also adds a dash of humor). With its love-builds-a-family message, this book is a good conversation starter and a reassuring read for adoptive children, especially in multiracial families. Ages 3-6. (Nov.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Children's Literature - Jeanne K. Pettenati, J.D.

What happens when an adopted child realizes she does not look like her mother or anyone else in her family? What does a mother say to a child who tells her, "You know, Mom, you're not my real mother...." Even though parents may have been counseled that this question is inevitable, they may be unprepared at the time and place it is uttered. Here is a great book to help adoptive families grapple with this issue. The title may shock, but it screams out what the child is thinking. Soft and sweet illustrations aid the text in communicating the warmth and love between parent and child. In the first half of the book, the blond, blue-eyed mother reassures her daughter that she is, indeed, the child's "real" mom. She asks a series of questions beginning with, "Does a real mother . . . [help you, let you, drive you, teach you, hug you, etc.]. Midway through the book, the brown-eyed, black-haired child states, "I know you love me, Mom. But why don't you look like me?" The response is simple and poignant. In the second half of the book, the child expresses the ways in which her "real" mother watches her grow. The child has gotten the mother's message—that her real mother is there for her day after day, week after week, year after year. The book ends with smiles and hugs and the child telling her mother emphatically that she is her "REAL MOTHER!" This book is an excellent choice for all adoptive families, and specifically, for multi-ethnic families. 2004, Little Brown and Company, Ages 4 to 9.

School Library Journal