Take Big Al, an inept minor-league Mafioso who's boss of a New York fish market, and send him to Key West. Have a rival who'd like to take over the market put out a contract on said mobster. Then give the hit man just enough information to make sure he fingers the wrong guy. That's not hard when both the target and an innocent tourist have the same vanity plate, even though one's a short guy with a big dog and the other's a big guy with a small dog. At first the only thing Big Al of the Mob and Big Al the furniture salesman from New Jersey have in common is their desire for a few days of R and R in the Sunshine State. But by the time the salesman's been nearly done in by a ton of rancid calamari and has narrowly escaped death by stuffed sailfish, there's another link between the two Al's, and therein lies the tale. That link is a beautiful woman named Katy Sansone.

Will Big Al the Good end up with Katy, the dissatisfied girlfriend of Big Al the Bad? Perhaps, and between the setup and the payoff there are plenty of laughs and a few implausible coincidences. Laurence Shames's seventh Key West adventure is a good read for a day at the beach or an afternoon in the hammock for mystery fans who can't wait for the next Carl Hiaasen. --Jane Adams


From Publishers Weekly
His seventh comic thriller set in the Florida Keys finds Shames running out of fun. The usual suspects make up the cast of charactersbumbling two-bit Mafioso grifters and hitmen who find themselves in ludicrous situationsbut the players seem perfunctorily one-dimensional, and their predicaments, while humorous in premise, come off contrived rather than comic. Minor mobster Nicky Scotto is convinced that rival Big Al Marracottaa five-foot midget who replaced him as boss of the Mafia-run Fulton Fish Marketpoisoned him with bad clams. He enlists Chop Parilla, a Hialeah hot car dealer and his henchman, Squid Berman, to even the score. They plan to get Big Al when hes on vacation in Key West with his willowy girlfriend, Katy Sansone. The two hoods think theyve found their victim, except theres more than one guy in Key West with Big Al license plates. When Squid and Chop mistakenly zero in on hulking Al Tuschman, former high school football hero and Jersey furniture salesman, they play tepid dirty tricks such as putting 50 pounds of spoiled calamari in the wrong Als Lexus, and a live lobster in his bed. Ultimately, Katy becomes fed up with being the sex toy of the degenerate mini-mobster Al, and opts for Al the gentle giant. Meanwhile, Nicky, anxious to regain his former position as head honcho of the fish market, contracts a hit to assassinate his rival. The new lovers, Al and Katy, are entertaining characters, but their amiable romance doesnt keep the plot from getting corny or tired. Unlike his bestselling contemporaries Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen, who consistently bring freshness to similar material, Shames seems to have misplaced the enthusiasm that marked his early work (Florida Straits, etc.). Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Library Journal
When Big Al Marracotta leaves for a vacation in Key West, he takes his girlfriend and his dog. Big Al, as manager of the Fulton Fish Market in New York City, has responsibilities. The man he has left in charge gets arrested, and the Calabrese family appoints Al's rival, Nicky Scotto, as acting manager. Unbeknownst to all, Nicky has hired Chop Parilla and Sid the Squid to hassle Big Al for selling spoiled clams. Add to the mix one Big Al Tuschman, who has won a vacation in Key West and arrives at the same time as his New York name-alike. Naturally, Parilla and the Squid mix up the Als, and the fun begins. Shames (Mangrove Squeeze, LJ 2/1/98) is both hilariously funny as well as insightful in his handling of his characters. He juxtaposes members of New York's Mafia with a Jewish character or two while never making fun of any one group. This is a book anyone with a sense of humor will enjoy. It will also change attitudes about taking a Florida vacation.AJo Ann Vicarel, Cleveland Heights-Univ. Heights P.L., OH Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Booklist
If Carl Hiaasen's humor is black, Shames' is charcoal. Hiaasen's take on Floridian absurdity is always a little closer to the edge, flirting with Armageddon, while Shames mixes violence with comedy in more of an Elmore Leonard manner. This slapstick caper novel finds Big Al Marracotta, a low-level mobster, vacationing in Key West while his rival, an equally inept thug, plots to have him bumped off. Stumbling into the fray is a nerdy furniture salesman from New Jersey who happens to have the same "Big Al" license plate as his mobster namesake. The hitmen naturally confuse their Als, and the chaos begins. Shames plays it strictly for laughs and doesn't disappoint: from the gay B & B where furniture Al, hopelessly straight, cavorts like the proverbial bull in a china shop to the armada of sex toys that Mafia Al packs for the trip, there's a joke around every twist in the plot. A little romance, a trick ending, and we're on our way home, another vacation in paradise behind us. Bill Ott


From Kirkus Reviews
The premise of Shames's new Florida crime comedy couldn't be simpler: a vacationing innocent is mistaken for an up-and-coming mobster. New Jersey furniture mogul Moe Kleinman doesn't know that the Paradise Motel his new travel agent has booked the winner of his annual sales contest into is actually something of a gay nudist colony. Since Alan Tuschman, the big softie who's been winning these contests almost every year, is not that kind of a guy, his vacation would look less than ideal even if nothing else went wrong. But plenty of other things do go wrong, starting, even before he's checked into the Paradise, when a pair of hoods named Chop Parilla and Squid Berman misidentify Tuschman as Big Al Marracotta, the diminutive goodfella who's not only taken over Nicky Scotto's New York fish market franchise but fed Nicky some clams that violently disagreed with him. Nicky's too fair to have the guy whacked, but he's willing to pay Chop and Squid $30,000 to put him through a week of hell in the most fiendishly inventive ways they can. The only obstacles to Tuschman's escalating nightmare are his equable attitude toward life's little mishaps, his budding friendship with Big Al's girlfriend Katy Sansone, and Squid's unexpected artistic conscience, which won't let any of his dirty tricks be cheap or easy. Fans will recognize the character typesthe good-natured sucker, the under- average-IQ lowlifes, the moll with the heart of goldfrom Shames's earlier Mafia farces (Virgin Heat, 1997, etc.). What they won't find here are the curlicues of twist and counterplot that make the tiniest oops resound throughout most of his novels like a belch at a funeral. What you see is what you get, and most readers will know long before hapless Tuschman does exactly what's coming and when. The results are as tartly amusing as ever, but a lot more predictablea good introduction for newcomers, but a letdown for fans. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.


Review
"WICKEDLY INVENTIVE."
--Los Angeles Times

"A DARKLY COMIC TALE."
--People

"THE STORY UNFOLDS AT COMIC WARP SPEED. . . . This is burlesque, as campy and crude as a night at a stag party.
But it is also a love story, scored for belly laughs."
--New York Daily News

"ZANY HUMOR . . . Shames mixes sun and fun, wise guys and dumb guys, smart gals and bad gals with such wit and style it makes you want to head straight to Key West and join the party."
--The Orlando Sentinel


Review
"WICKEDLY INVENTIVE."
--Los Angeles Times

"A DARKLY COMIC TALE."
--People

"THE STORY UNFOLDS AT COMIC WARP SPEED. . . . This is burlesque, as campy and crude as a night at a stag party.
But it is also a love story, scored for belly laughs."
--New York Daily News

"ZANY HUMOR . . . Shames mixes sun and fun, wise guys and dumb guys, smart gals and bad gals with such wit and style it makes you want to head straight to Key West and join the party."
--The Orlando Sentinel

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Laurence Shames, whom the Chicago Tribune calls "one of our best crime fiction writers," is back. This time he brings us a hilarious novel of mistaken identity and tropical crime that proves that while we all love the idea of a vacation, the truth is we often end up wishing we'd stayed home.
        
For Alan Tuschman—mild-mannered furniture salesman from New Jersey, a man without an enemy—a vacation in Key West turns out to be not paradise but a hell of bizarre assaults on him, his property, and his sanity. Why? It might have something to do with the nickname emblazoned on his license plate.
        
For Big Al Marracotta—Mafia capo and boss of New York's Fulton Fish Market—vacation is the time when a long career of crime and rancid sea-food finally threatens to catch up with him.
        
And for lissome Katy Sansone, who is seeking no more than some sunshine and a little self-respect, Key West serves up a bafflement of Als, and way more danger than she'd packed for.
        
Rich in the loopy insights and surprising tenderness that have become Shames's hallmarks, Welcome to Paradise is his best novel yet.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly

His seventh comic thriller set in the Florida Keys finds Shames running out of fun. The usual suspects make up the cast of charactersbumbling two-bit Mafioso grifters and hitmen who find themselves in ludicrous situationsbut the players seem perfunctorily one-dimensional, and their predicaments, while humorous in premise, come off contrived rather than comic. Minor mobster Nicky Scotto is convinced that rival Big Al Marracottaa five-foot midget who replaced him as boss of the Mafia-run Fulton Fish Marketpoisoned him with bad clams. He enlists Chop Parilla, a Hialeah hot car dealer and his henchman, Squid Berman, to even the score. They plan to get Big Al when hes on vacation in Key West with his willowy girlfriend, Katy Sansone. The two hoods think theyve found their victim, except theres more than one guy in Key West with Big Al license plates. When Squid and Chop mistakenly zero in on hulking Al Tuschman, former high school football hero and Jersey furniture salesman, they play tepid dirty tricks such as putting 50 pounds of spoiled calamari in the wrong Als Lexus, and a live lobster in his bed. Ultimately, Katy becomes fed up with being the sex toy of the degenerate mini-mobster Al, and opts for Al the gentle giant. Meanwhile, Nicky, anxious to regain his former position as head honcho of the fish market, contracts a hit to assassinate his rival. The new lovers, Al and Katy, are entertaining characters, but their amiable romance doesnt keep the plot from getting corny or tired. Unlike his bestselling contemporaries Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen, who consistently bring freshness to similar material, Shames seems to have misplaced the enthusiasm that marked his early work (Florida Straits, etc.). (June)

Library Journal

When Big Al Marracotta leaves for a vacation in Key West, he takes his girlfriend and his dog. Big Al, as manager of the Fulton Fish Market in New York City, has responsibilities. The man he has left in charge gets arrested, and the Calabrese family appoints Al's rival, Nicky Scotto, as acting manager. Unbeknownst to all, Nicky has hired Chop Parilla and Sid the Squid to hassle Big Al for selling spoiled clams. Add to the mix one Big Al Tuschman, who has won a vacation in Key West and arrives at the same time as his New York name-alike. Naturally, Parilla and the Squid mix up the Als, and the fun begins. Shames (Mangrove Squeeze, LJ 2/1/98) is both hilariously funny as well as insightful in his handling of his characters. He juxtaposes members of New York's Mafia with a Jewish character or two while never making fun of any one group. This is a book anyone with a sense of humor will enjoy. It will also change attitudes about taking a Florida vacation.--Jo Ann Vicarel, Cleveland Heights-Univ. Heights P.L., OH Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

The premise of Shames's new Florida crime comedy couldn't be simpler: a vacationing innocent is mistaken for an up-and-coming mobster. New Jersey furniture mogul Moe Kleinman doesn't know that the Paradise Motel his new travel agent has booked the winner of his annual sales contest into is actually something of a gay nudist colony. Since Alan Tuschman, the big softie who's been winning these contests almost every year, is not that kind of a guy, his vacation would look less than ideal even if nothing else went wrong. But plenty of other things do go wrong, starting, even before he's checked into the Paradise, when a pair of hoods named Chop Parilla and Squid Berman misidentify Tuschman as Big Al Marracotta, the diminutive goodfella who's not only taken over Nicky Scotto's New York fish market franchise but fed Nicky some clams that violently disagreed with him. Nicky's too fair to have the guy whacked, but he's willing to pay Chop and Squid $30,000 to put him through a week of hell in the most fiendishly inventive ways they can. The only obstacles to Tuschman's escalating nightmare are his equable attitude toward life's little mishaps, his budding friendship with Big Al's girlfriend Katy Sansone, and Squid's unexpected artistic conscience, which won't let any of his dirty tricks be cheap or easy. Fans will recognize the character types—the good-natured sucker, the under-average-IQ lowlifes, the moll with the heart of gold—from Shames's earlier Mafia farces (Virgin Heat, 1997, etc.). What they won't find here are the curlicues of twist and counterplot that make the tiniest oops resound throughout most of his novels like a belch at a funeral. What you see is what you get,and most readers will know long before hapless Tuschman does exactly what's coming and when. The results are as tartly amusing as ever, but a lot more predictable—a good introduction for newcomers, but a letdown for fans.