From Publishers Weekly
For their first collaboration, Spinner (coauthor of Aliens for Breakfast) and Bisson (Pirates of the Universe) concoct a sluggishly paced tale centering on twins Tessa and Tod, who happen upon "Gemini Jack's U Rent All" at the Middle Valley Mall. When the two hold hands and walk backward, the store materializes "at the end of a narrow corridor they hadn't seen before." Inside, a man with too-smooth skin and too many fingers knows what they have come to the mall to buy--baking pans for their grandmother--and offers to rent them to the youngsters. Well before the siblings catch on, the authors let readers in on Jack's alien identity and mission on earth, which entails saving his planet by taking a DNA sample from entirely ruthless earthling twins. Gemini Jack also lets Tessa borrow a pink "electronic pet," which the following day is stolen--along with other students' e-pets--from the twins' school. Tessa uses another gadget on loan from Jack to track down the culprits--a set of twins nasty enough to fulfill Jack's needs. Occasional funny moments surface in this convoluted caper, yet extraneous detail and an obvious conclusion considerably weaken its punch. Ages 8-12. (Feb.) Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From School Library Journal
Grade 3-5-Nine-year-old twins Tessa and Tod think the guy who runs Gemini Jack's U Rent All at the local megamall is so weird, he could be an alien. It turns out they're right: Gemini Jack is on a mission to collect DNA from a pair of nasty human twins and use it to inoculate the residents of his home planet against their own niceness. This contemporary light comedy is successful in places. In the funniest running joke of the book, Jack gives the twins an electronic pet that beeps whenever anyone within earshot tells a lie, showing Tessa and Tod that adults tell whoppers right along with kids. However, the plot is hampered by inconsistencies in pacing and structure, and in small but crucial details. The authors devote many pages early in the book to the twins' hippie grandparents and their opposition to malls; these sections read like foreshadowing but turn out to be irrelevant to the plot. More jarring are contradictions about the nature of Jack's home, sometimes mentioned in the singular as "our planet" and sometimes in the plural as the "the twin planets Gemini." While there are some amusing moments here, the story seems more like a setup for a sequel than a complete entity.Beth Wright, Dorothy Alling Memorial Library, Williston, VT Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Booklist
Twins Tod and Tessa are staying with their grandparents, "the world's oldest living hippies," who met at Woodstock. The couple now raises organic veggies and sells desserts with names like "Piece of My Heart Chocolate Cake." The twins know their grandparents disapprove of the big new mall, but a shortage of baking pans allows Tod and Tessa to go off to explore it. They find the pans at Gemini Jack's, an intriguing store that shimmers into existence only occasionally and has a proprietor who seems to have a few too many fingers. He's an alien, of course, who, with his twin sister, Jill, is trying to save their home planet. A rollicking plot line hits all the right notes, from science projects to e-pets, with hilarious 1960s references. There are also some evil twins who just may be descended from Vlad the Impaler, cool sunglasses that make the wearer invisible, and a perfectly silly denouement. Spinner and Bisson, who is known for adult sf, write with verve and wit, and a good time will be had by all. GraceAnne A. DeCandido


From Kirkus Reviews
Human and alien twins encounter each otherat the mall, of coursein this droll collaboration from Spinner (with Ellen Weiss, Born to be Wild, 1997, etc.) and Bisson (for adults, Pirates of the Universe, 1996, etc.). On their first visit to Middle Valley Mall, Tod and Tessa find Genuine Jack's U Rent All, a store only they can see, and only then by walking backwards. Jack's a strange dude, with a disappearing mouth, too many fingers, and an array of fascinating gadgets from invisibility sunglasses to a cute little Fib Muncher that beeps appreciatively at every lie. Jack and his hidden sibling Jill are on a mission; their planet, Gemini, being menaced by evil Vorons, and they are looking to add some mettle to their unwarlike gene pool with an infusion of DNA from the most ruthless, aggressive, cold-blooded earthling twins available. Tod and Tessa aren't bad enough, but their classmates Ned and Nancy Gneiss, aptly dubbed Notso and Never, are direct descendants of Vlad the Impaler, and fill the bill perfectly. Amidst a welter of tricks, plots, misdeeds, misunderstandings, and truly terrible jokes from a minor character addicted to stand-up, the Gneiss twins get ample opportunity to strut their stuff in this lighter-than- air fantasy, and although in the end they get personality makeovers rather than more just deserts, they are part of an amusing, satisfying caper. (Fiction. 9-11) -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.


Book Description
Gemini Jack's U Rent All
Be First in the Universe!

When they accidentally walk backwards, Tod and his twin sister Tessa notice a flashing neon sign in the mall. There's something strange about it—instead of blinking on and off, the sign appears and disappears. One minute it's there, then no neon, no sign, nothing. And that's only the first clue that this is no ordinary store.

Gemini Jack rents all sorts of things that the twins have never even imagined. Maybe Tod and Tessa can rent something to help them deal with the only other set of twins in their grade, Nancy and Ned. They're so mean that double trouble only describes one of them. And they get away with everything. But why is Jack so interested in meeting the evil twins?


Card catalog description
While staying with their hippie grandparents, ten-year-old twins, Tod and Tessa, discover an unusual shop at the nearby mall, where they find a lie-detecting electronic pet, a Do-Right machine, and other alien gadgets which help them foil their nemeses, the evil Gneiss twins.


From the Inside Flap
Gemini Jack's U Rent All
Be First in the Universe!

When they accidentally walk backwards, Tod and his twin sister Tessa notice a flashing neon sign in the mall. There's something strange about it—instead of blinking on and off, the sign appears and disappears. One minute it's there, then no neon, no sign, nothing. And that's only the first clue that this is no ordinary store.

Gemini Jack rents all sorts of things that the twins have never even imagined. Maybe Tod and Tessa can rent something to help them deal with the only other set of twins in their grade, Nancy and Ned. They're so mean that double trouble only describes one of them. And they get away with everything. But why is Jack so interested in meeting the evil twins?


About the Author
Stephanie Spinner is the coauthor of Aliens for Breakfast and its companions Aliens for Lunch and Aliens for Dinner with Jonathan Etra. Terry Bisson's science fiction novels include Pirates of the Universe, a New York Times Notable Book.


Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
They were twins, but they weren't really alike, not in Tessa's opinion. Tessa had lots of opinions, and she expressed them freely. Her brother, Tod, kept his opinions to himself. But Tessa knew him so well that she could usually tell what he was thinking, even if he didn't say a word. Right now, for example, she knew exactly what was on his mind.

A propeller.

A broken propeller.

"Earth to Tod, Earth to Tod," she said in a nasal robot voice, waiting for him to put down his pliers. It was as if he were in a trance, she thought. He was sitting in one of his favorite places, at the old Formica table under the locust tree in their grandparents' big, overgrown front yard, but he could have been in outer space.

It was always like that when he fooled around with something broken. Give Tod an old radio, a rusty windup toy, or a broken propeller like the one for his science fair project, and he got all quiet and intent until he fixed it, which could take all day.

Tessa didn't have all day. She stood over him, willing him to pay attention.

"What?" he asked, not even looking up.

"We're going!"

"Where?" It was hardly a question. His attention was on the propeller shaft, which was bent. He straightened it slowly and methodically, the way he did most things.

"Guess!"

Tod flicked the propeller and it began to turn. "Aha," he murmured, pleased. He finally looked up at her. "I give," he said.

"The mall." She grinned.

"Really?" His dark eyebrows shot up.

"Yes!"

Middle Valley Mall was the newest and biggest mall in the state. The twins liked malls a lot—when they were living at home with their parents, they went to them all the time. They even had a list of favorites, which they ranked according to Best Fast Food, Best Escalators, and Best Bathrooms.

But this year they hadn't been to a single mall, because they were living with their grandparents while their parents traveled through the Far East on business.

The twins loved staying with their grandparents. Lou and Lulu were relaxed and funny, and their ranch was a great place. It had a pond and fields and a barn with an old jukebox in it that Lou played when he milked his goats. And because it was close enough to their "real" home, the twins didn't have to change schools.

However, there were some drawbacks to living with Lou and Lulu. The twins had to do chores. They had to give up a lot of their favorite television shows because the ranch didn't have cable. And they had to deal with Lou and Lulu's only real failing—their dislike of malls. They didn't think kids should hang out in them, or even visit them.

Lots of kids at school had already been to the brand-new mall. Tessa's friend Lisa said it was vast, that you practically needed hiking shoes and trail mix to get through it. Tod's friend Spike got a free glow-in-the-dark yo-yo the day he went.

Tessa started complaining to Lulu that she had a rare disease called mall deprivation. Depression and bad moods and nail-biting were its main symptoms, she said. But this strategy didn't work. Every time she or Tod asked if they could go, Lou and Lulu came up with a reason why they couldn't. The mall was too big. Too confusing. Too expensive.

"At least they can't say it's too far," Tod had said to Tessa after their last attempt.

"A mile." Tessa had sighed dramatically. "Just one itty-bitty bike ride from here. You know," she'd added, "they never actually said they forbid us to go."

"They're the world's oldest living hippies," said Tod, who was very matter-of-fact. "They don't use words like forbid."

Their grandparents, who insisted on being called by their first names, had gone to Woodstock, traveled to India, and then moved to a commune in Vermont, where Lulu wrote and illustrated a book of organic vegetarian recipes that became a bestseller and kept selling year after year. Now, thanks to The Cosmic Kitchen, they raised goats and organic vegetables on their farm, the Double L Goat Ranch.

Lou and Lulu didn't even use credit cards, much less go to malls. When they had to buy anything they went to small stores run by people they knew.

"So how come they gave in?" asked Tod now, as he and Tessa jumped on their bikes. This was another way she and Tod were different, thought Tessa. She could never wait five whole minutes, the way Tod had, to ask why their grandparents had finally changed their minds about something so vitally important.

"It was Lulu, actually," said Tessa as they pushed off. "She got a rush order for bread pudding and it turns out she doesn't have enough pans, and Trudy's is closed." Trudy's was the little general store where Lulu shopped—or bartered.

"So we have to find them at the mall. "Large, rectangular, nonstick ones,'" she recited, imitating Lulu's soft Southern accent.

The twins' grandmother was a wonderful cook who specialized in baked desserts made with homegrown, organic ingredients. The local people had always bought her muffins and fruit pies; Trudy had started selling them when Lou and Lulu bought the ranch. But a few years earlier some fancy stores in Philadelphia and New York had begun to sell them too. Now Lulu had standing orders for Piece of My Heart Chocolate Cake and Wild Thing Cannoli, her two most popular confections.

There were also people who called the ranch and ordered directly. Lulu didn't advertise or have a Web site (their computer was so old it had a black screen and orange letters), but every now and then some health-conscious person with a sweet tooth managed to track her down. They were the ones who loved her desserts so much that they got completely emotional about them, like the woman who'd called today.

"Lulu may hate malls," said Tessa, pedaling hard to keep up with Tod, "but she's a complete pushover for a customer in tears."

"The woman cried?" Tod looked shocked. Tessa rolled her eyes at his reaction. He was always surprised when people got worked up about things. Their mother was like that too—calm and businesslike. Tessa was more like their father. She liked excitement. And she was anything but quiet.

"Yes! And Lulu caved right away! Is that luck or what? Thank you, Mrs. Crybaby!" Tessa yelled, standing up on her pedals. The back road was curvy but it was flat, and they were really whizzing along.

Suddenly Tod screeched to a halt. Tessa circled around and pulled up next to him.

He pointed.

Below them lay a vast parking lot, filled with hundreds, maybe thousands of cars. It was full of people, too—carrying packages, pushing strollers, streaming into the building at the far end of the lot. The building, sky blue and painted with fluffy white clouds, was topped by a pulsing neon rainbow. Exploding neon stars, like fireworks, flashed and glittered over the entrance with its gigantic middle valley mall sign. Deep, twangy music came their way on the breeze. It was harp music.

"Yow. This is bigger than the Beverly Center," said Tessa, referring to

a shopping center in Los Angeles that was so big it was almost like a city in itself.

"It might even be bigger than Danbury," said Tod. The Danbury mall in Connecticut was as big as a city. And its Sears had the largest tool department on the East Coast, which made that mall Tod's personal favorite.

They stood there for a moment, admiring the Middle Valley Mall in reverent silence. Then Tod got back on his bike. "On your mark," he said, getting ready.

"Set." Tessa crouched over her handlebars.

"Go!" They were off.

chapter 2

A few minutes later they'd locked up their bikes and were part of the throng

hurrying through the rows of revolving doors. Once they were inside the brightly lit multilevel arcade, they quickly found the mall directory, a large sign that listed dozens of stores—from Aladdin's Cave of Carpets to Mighty Tights to Weird Houseplants of the World.

Though the harp music was softer than the roar of hundreds of shoppers on the move, the twins could hear it plinking every now and then as they looked

for the name of a store that would have cooking supplies. The tune sounded familiar to Tessa, like one of the bouncy old songs from the sixties on Lou's jukebox.

Tod pointed to one of the directory listings. "How about this one?" he asked. "Gourmet Gallery."

"Sure." Tessa saw that it was on Level 3. "Escalator!" she exclaimed, leading the way. She loved escalators, which were so much better than elevators, in her opinion, because you could look around while you were on them. Rising to Level 2, for example, they saw a mother pushing a stroller with triplets in it, somebody wearing a rooster costume, a man dressed in angel's

robes handing out popcorn, and two girls wearing grass dresses and flowerpot

hats.

"They must be from Weird Houseplants of the World," said Tessa. She could tell that Tod was enjoying the spectacle just as much as she was. His eyes were wide and his jaw had dropped an inch, which was his way of saying "Whoopee."

Another minute and they were on Level 3, which looked just like Levels 1 and 2, except for the stars in the blue domed ceiling that flashed in time to the music.

"Right or left?" asked Tessa as they stepped off the escalator. They could always find each other if they split up—it was an odd gift they had—but she'd promised Lulu that she and Tod would stick together at the mall.

"Left," said Tod. They turned in unison and made their way past stores full of women's clothing, music, coffee and tea, bath stuff, and cosmetics. Then they walked up the other side past candles, toys, and men's shoes until

they reached Gourmet Gallery.

It was a big, high-ceilinged store whose shelves were lined with brightly packaged food—Swiss chocolate, French fruit syrups, Swedish crackers, English jams and jellies, and Italian, Greek, and Spanish olive oil. Salamis

and cheeses in ropes hung over the counter. Long breads were piled up in baskets, and hills of olives—big, small, wrinkled, smooth, and stuffed—filled the display cases. Everything looked foreign and expensive. Even so, the shop was full of people.

There wasn't a pan in sight.

"Where to now?" asked Tessa. "There has to be a cooking shop here somewhere."

"Maybe not," said Tod. They stood there for a moment as shoppers swirled by. Tessa could tell that her brother was thinking about something else. Probably his propeller.

"Head home?" he asked.

"I know you want to work on that project thing—"

"Wind generator," said Tod. "For the science fair."

"—but we can't leave Lulu stranded," Tessa finished.

"We didn't notice any other kitchen stores, remember?" Tod started walking to the escalator.

"Wait! Let me think." Tessa grabbed his hand and started walking backward, which she liked to do when she was figuring something out. She claimed it helped her to concentrate.

Against his will, Tod fell into step with her.

It was on their second step in unison that it happened.

ANNOTATION

While staying with their hippie grandparents, ten-year-old twins, Tod and Tessa, discover an unusual shop at the nearby mall, where they find a lie-detecting electronic pet, a Do-Right machine, and other alien gadgets which help them foil their nemeses, the evil Gneiss twins.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Twins Todd and Tessa don’t always think alike, but there’s one thing they both agree on—Gemini Jack’s is their favorite store in the mall. Where else can you find a remote control that works on people, or a mirror that sees 10 minutes into the future? And Jack is even stranger—he glows in the dark, and gives discounts to Tod and Tessa because they’re twins. Then Jack develops an interest in the other set of twins in Tod and Tessa’s grade—nasty Ned and Nancy. They’re so mean, even their mother is scared of them. Why would Jack want to meet them?
Tod and Tessa are about to learn what happens when you introduce your worst enemies to the coolest guy in the universe.
.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly

For their first collaboration, Spinner (coauthor of Aliens for Breakfast) and Bisson (Pirates of the Universe) concoct a sluggishly paced tale centering on twins Tessa and Tod, who happen upon "Gemini Jack's U Rent All" at the Middle Valley Mall. When the two hold hands and walk backward, the store materializes "at the end of a narrow corridor they hadn't seen before." Inside, a man with too-smooth skin and too many fingers knows what they have come to the mall to buy--baking pans for their grandmother--and offers to rent them to the youngsters. Well before the siblings catch on, the authors let readers in on Jack's alien identity and mission on earth, which entails saving his planet by taking a DNA sample from entirely ruthless earthling twins. Gemini Jack also lets Tessa borrow a pink "electronic pet," which the following day is stolen--along with other students' e-pets--from the twins' school. Tessa uses another gadget on loan from Jack to track down the culprits--a set of twins nasty enough to fulfill Jack's needs. Occasional funny moments surface in this convoluted caper, yet extraneous detail and an obvious conclusion considerably weaken its punch. Ages 8-12. (Feb.) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.|

Children's Literature - Childrens Literature

Ten-year-old twins Tod and Tessa discover a mall rental shop run by an alien whose sign reads "Be First in the Universe." Jack, the alien, needs evil twin DNA to save his planet but these twins are kindly and fair-minded. However, their bad classmates, the Gneiss twins, are the ones who inadvertently will save Jack's twin Gemini planets. The shop features cool gadgets like Effie, a lie-reactor electronic pet, sunglasses which cause invisibility, and a black box that induces people to do the right thing. The plot is straightforward, hippie grandparents provide solid values, the school and mall guard Watson tells bad jokes, and the story hinges neatly on the evil twins being descendents of Vlad the Impaler. The well-thought-out science fiction read, co-authored by Spinner who also wrote the "Aliens for Breakfast" series, is told with humor, no truly scary bits, and just enough detail to challenge middle-elementary age readers who like mild science fiction. 2000, Delacorte, Ages 7 to 11, $14.95. Reviewer: Susan Hepler—Children's Literature

Bonnie Fowler - Bookbag Magazine