From Publishers Weekly
Culling source material from her years of linguistic practice and training, Elgin (Genderspeak) offers an accessible, extremely pragmatic approach to verbal abuse. With many broad-minded and tactful suggestions for everyday use, this is an excellent resource. Through exercises and journal-writing, Elgin encourages reader to eradicate "toxic" language. She offers various tools like "Miller's Law," which requires the listener to assume initially that whatever the speaker says is true-rather than the all-to-frequent assumption to the contrary. Elgin is objective, rehearsing the perspectives of both people in a possibly hostile exchange and reminding readers that everyone has the potential to be a verbal abuser, victim or witness. If there is a weakness, it is that while Elgin confronts the verbal abuser's tactics, her methods seem to emphasize placating abusers and rewarding them with the attention they crave. Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.


Book Description
You can’t say that to me! "Can’t you do anything right?" "I can’t believe you would feed that junk to your child!" "What is this? And don’t tell me it’s a casserole, I already know that." "If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t behave this way." Sound familiar? Each of us occasionally feels the sting of very unpleasant language from those who are closest to us—spouses, employers, friends, relatives. But frequent and repeated use of unanswerable questions, scalding accusations, sarcasm, insinuations, and even icy silence is more than simply unpleasant; it is abusive, destructive, and frequently leads to escalating arguments and physical violence. Suzette Haden Elgin, creator of the "Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense," has developed a unique and revolutionary way to break the cycle of verbal violence and eliminate it from your life—without ruining your marriage, risking your job, or alienating friends or loved ones. Dr. Elgin shows you how to neutralize verbal attacks and discourage future abuse with:An 8-step program that helps you recognize the patterns of verbal abuseSpecific language techniques that enable you to avoid escalating arguments and break the cycle of abuse using skills you already possessQuestionnaires and diaries that help you analyze abusive situations, evaluate your responses to them, and track your progressIn this book Dr. Elgin proves that verbal abuse is not caused by human nature, but by language. She helps you discover that you are an expert in your own language, already highly qualified to solve this problem for yourself, quickly and forever.


The publisher, John Wiley & Sons
A simple-to-follow, 8-step program using the author's celebrated ``Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense'' techniques. Provides readers with a practical method for ending virtually all forms of verbal abuse at home, work, school and even in the streets. Contains a wealth of tips and basic practical advice that can be used immediately. Numerous exercises and activities enable readers to test and practice techniques on their own.


From the Back Cover
You can’t say that to me! "Can’t you do anything right?" "I can’t believe you would feed that junk to your child!" "What is this? And don’t tell me it’s a casserole, I already know that." "If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t behave this way." Sound familiar? Each of us occasionally feels the sting of very unpleasant language from those who are closest to us—spouses, employers, friends, relatives. But frequent and repeated use of unanswerable questions, scalding accusations, sarcasm, insinuations, and even icy silence is more than simply unpleasant; it is abusive, destructive, and frequently leads to escalating arguments and physical violence. Suzette Haden Elgin, creator of the "Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense," has developed a unique and revolutionary way to break the cycle of verbal violence and eliminate it from your life—without ruining your marriage, risking your job, or alienating friends or loved ones. Dr. Elgin shows you how to neutralize verbal attacks and discourage future abuse with:An 8-step program that helps you recognize the patterns of verbal abuseSpecific language techniques that enable you to avoid escalating arguments and break the cycle of abuse using skills you already possessQuestionnaires and diaries that help you analyze abusive situations, evaluate your responses to them, and track your progressIn this book Dr. Elgin proves that verbal abuse is not caused by human nature, but by language. She helps you discover that you are an expert in your own language, already highly qualified to solve this problem for yourself, quickly and forever.


About the Author
SUZETTE HADEN ELGIN, Ph.D., is an expert in applied psycholinguistics and the founder of the Ozark Center for Language Studies. She is the author of eight "Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" titles, including Genderspeak: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, also published by Wiley. She lives with her family near Huntsville, Arkansas.

ANNOTATION

Verbal abuse comes in many devastating forms--but no matter how or when it occurs, abuse language can have grave long-term consequences for the victim's physical and psychological health and well-being. This book offers readers a practical program for controlling and ending virtually all forms of verbal abuse.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

A simple-to-follow, 8-step program using the author's celebrated ``Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense'' techniques. Provides readers with a practical method for ending virtually all forms of verbal abuse at home, work, school and even in the streets. Contains a wealth of tips and basic practical advice that can be used immediately. Numerous exercises and activities enable readers to test and practice techniques on their own.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly