Marilu Henner, costar of the TV sitcom Taxi turned bestselling self-help author, has a strong message for doting parents: stop spoiling your children. Many of today's moms and dads confuse placating with loving, spurred by a desire to give their kids the world on a silver platter. Cowritten by Henner (mother of two boys) and her personal psychoanalyst Dr. Ruth Sharon, I Refuse to Raise a Brat explores the long-term effects of overgratifying youngsters and offers a wealth of situational advice.

Henner and Sharon theorize that a child's ability to balance independence and cooperation directly results from the parent-child relationship; too much negotiation, too many toys, exaggerated praise, and overprotection do not help that child in the long run. Instead of learning compliance, the child will learn that everything is open to discussion; in place of gratitude, the child learns greed (either physical greed for more "stuff" or emotional greed for more of the spotlight); and instead of feeling safe, the child will learn helplessness.

The women incorporate a question/answer style throughout their book's 12 somewhat disjointed chapters. Questions such as "Our 18-month old wakes up at five every morning and then he wants to play. What do I do?" receive a practical two- to four-sentence response from Dr. Sharon (Answer: "Don't blame your baby.... If he gets nine or ten hours' sleep, he has every right to wake up at 5 a.m.") Then Marilu responds--sometimes serious, often with a humorous anecdote or one-liner, or at times with a completely unrelated comment. Perhaps not the most authoritative resource, this book will still please, inform, and strike familiar chords in parents who seek nonphysical ways to gain and keep respect. --Liane Thomas

From Library Journal
Actress Henner, who entered the realm of authorship with a couple of health books, now offers her advice on parenting. A supporter of psychoanalyst Ruth Sharon, Henner's basic philosophy is that children are overindulged and thus do not develop into independent adults. Through a Q&A format, Henner relates Sharon's theories about many childhood concerns such as sleep and discipline, adding anecdotes from her own experiences with her two preschool-age sons. Like other books of this nature, this one has some nuggets of useful advice. The overall presentation, however, is impractical with its black-and-white view of parenting. While real-life examples can personalize otherwise dry information, Henner becomes grating and self-serving when talking about her own children. In addition, she provides misleading information about breastfeeding. The most interesting portions are her memories of her own colorful childhood, making the listener hope that Henner's next writing venture will be an autobiography. While this program can supplement well-rounded parenting collections, it should not replace more comprehensive manuals.-Susan McCaffrey, Haslett H.S., MI Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From AudioFile
The TV actress and health book author uses her considerable charm to make a classic pitch about parenting--that children become more competent when we don't overindulge them or try to make them comfortable all the time. She says that closeness is necessary but that it can do harm if it lowers our expectations of our children. Don't let your children bully you into protecting them; let them discover the world on their own and grow from the experience. Henner is a warm and balanced speaker, and the advice is illustrated so well that you'll want to listen again. T.W. © AudioFile 2000, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Parents, grandparents, and educators read volumes of child-rearing books, yet their well-intentioned efforts continue to produce an increasing number of overindulged brats, who grow up to become resentful adults with exaggerated feelings of entitlement. I Refuse To Raise A Brat educates readers about the damaging consequences of overgratification and why frustrating experiences are necessary for children to mature into healthy and resilient adults. Down-to-earth and compassionate, it shows how to distinguish between overgratification and love, break the pattern of overindulgence, and provide children with the sense of responsibility they will need to cope with life's many challenges.

SYNOPSIS

Brats of the World, Watch Out!

Not all of us can afford to hire an expert to help us raise our children to become well-adjusted, well-meaning people, but I Refuse to Raise a Brat just might be the next-best thing. We are invited to participate in the discussion between Marilu Henner and psychotherapist Dr. Ruth V. Sharon. Here's the basic idea: There are lots of brats around these days, and although no one wants to raise one, parents often do not understand how overgratification can harm their children -- and that a healthy dose of frustration could be just what the doctor ordered.

FROM THE CRITICS

Library Journal

Actress Henner, who entered the realm of authorship with a couple of health books, now offers her advice on parenting. A supporter of psychoanalyst Ruth Sharon, Henner's basic philosophy is that children are overindulged and thus do not develop into independent adults. Through a Q&A format, Henner relates Sharon's theories about many childhood concerns such as sleep and discipline, adding anecdotes from her own experiences with her two preschool-age sons. Like other books of this nature, this one has some nuggets of useful advice. The overall presentation, however, is impractical with its black-and-white view of parenting. While real-life examples can personalize otherwise dry information, Henner becomes grating and self-serving when talking about her own children. In addition, she provides misleading information about breastfeeding. The most interesting portions are her memories of her own colorful childhood, making the listener hope that Henner's next writing venture will be an autobiography. While this program can supplement well-rounded parenting collections, it should not replace more comprehensive manuals.--Susan McCaffrey, Haslett H.S., MI Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.\

AudioFile