In our mobile, youth-obsessed culture, we have developed a grandmother problem, says Suzette Haden Elgin. "Women who become grandmothers don't know whether to rejoice or run for cover and grandmotherly role models and skills are disappearing." In The Grandmother Principles, Elgin, the bestselling author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense has created a commonsense guide for learning to "think like a grandmother."

Elgin organizes the book around 21 "Grandmother Principles"--short aphorisms that are a designed to bring more joy and serenity to the adventure of being a grandparent. A sample:

A grandmother is a safe haven; most arguments are about who is in charge; a grandmother is not a quarterback; there are secret stories that only a grandmother should know.

Each principle is explored by addressing hot topics for grandparents and detailed in sidebars, comics, and sample dialogues. Elgin's buoyant, supportive personality guides grandparents through a hefty list of how-to's including how to avoid being a martyr, deal with memory loss, cope with family disgrace, tell a family story, or write a family newsletter. In each chapter, smart sidebars add levity for example, "seven ways to end up helpless." An appendix details "granny crafts" from crocheting to creating doll clothes and making homemade play dough. Elgin, a grandmother of 10, offers abundant and reliable advice--often convincing us that Grandma knows best. --Barbara Mackoff


From Publishers Weekly
According to the author, "Grandmother skills" are disappearing because in our highly mobile society, women may now remain in the workforce or live far from their grandchildren. Elgin (The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense), herself a grandmother to 10, attempts to fill this gap by providing grandmothers of all types and ages with this chatty and good-natured guide to successful grandmothering. Included among Elgin's 21 sensible principles are advice for mediating family disputes, tips for helping grandchildren with money problems while maintaining one's own financial solvency, as well as the importance of passing down family myths and stories to the next generation. Elgin also discusses family crises or illnesses when it may become necessary for a grandmother to take over the running of the household of one of her children (whom she coyly refers to as a "chadult"). Elgin firmly believes that once the emergency is over, a grandmother must return the household to the parents as soon as possible and gracefully return home. Elgin includes lots of nitty gritty advice but most of her book is aimed at reminding readers how to give families the advantage of their experience without giving in to the frailties of age. Editor, Jackie Decter; agent, Jeff McCartney. Author tour. Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Library Journal
Two well-known authors present their views of grandparenthood, and both are excellent. "Dr. Ruth" Westheimer (Dr. Ruth Talks About Grandparents, Farrar, 1997, among many other titles) does what she does best, presenting thorough, commonsense, well-organized advice filled with lots of love all around. She argues that "you are not the parent" and that problems must be anticipated before they loom large. Open to the different roles and styles grandparents can adopt, Dr. Ruth insists that grandparenting is really just giving your love and your time. Clearly, Dr. Ruth relishes her own grandparenthood and hopes that all readers will do the same. There are bibliographies in each chapter, with lots of recommended resources. The real zest comes from Elgin (e.g., The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, LJ 8/80). She comes up with 21 principles, including "the grandmother way is the easy way" and "it's always safe to talk to a grandmother." She goes into collecting family stories, maintaining a family loan fund, dealing with disgrace, and what to do for "the dwindles" (remedy: take to your bed). Elgin's point is that "grandmothers matter enormously." She praises young men who find old ladies beautiful, values the art of grannycraft, and relishes aging. Clearly a delight to read. Both books are highly recommended.?Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PACopyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Suzette Haden Elgin, an experienced grandmother of ten, covers all aspects of grandmothering, including mediating family arguments; learning the art of growing old gracefully; saying no without feeling guilty; coping with emergencies; managing resources - money, time, and energy; being a long-distance grandmother; keeping the family history; and teaching crafts to grandchildren. Dozens of sidebars provide invaluable tips on topics as diverse as traveling with kids, wonderful gifts that can be made on a copying machine, and the best grandparenting sites on the Internet.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly