From Publishers Weekly
Professional loser Bill Roberts's mother has died, and if he buries her he'll lose her pension checks, which he's also afraid to cash. Out of money and food, he joins two idiot friends and concocts a robbery of a neighboring firecracker stand. They botch the job and flee into the swamps, where Bill escapes, his face so swollen with mosquito bites that John Frost, manager of a traveling carnival and freak show, takes him in. Frost is married to the gorgeous, blonde Gidget, a virtual sex-machine and the most desirable woman Bill has ever seen. Bill is soon immersed in a world of freaks, where he makes friends with Conrad the Wonder Dog and U.S. Grant, the bearded lady, and quickly becomes embroiled with Gidget in a Double Indemnity-style plot to kill Frost and take over the business. Lansdale outdoes himself in rendering sophomoric sexual fantasy and graphic, stomach-turning passages of lurid behavior. There's also an inordinate amount of concern with penile size, bouncing breasts and tiny jeans shorts. As protagonist, Bill is not as much a hero as victim of circumstance, a man who "everywhere he turned is socked by the mallet of stupidity." But at the story's climax, Lansdale reveals Bill to be a true sucker, and unfortunately, readers may not be sympathetic to or appreciative of his folly. The details of East Texas swamps and forests seem on target, although the humor often misfires with overloaded similes and strained attempts to be outrageous. Still, this a page-turner suitable for bus or beach and for anyone with a predilection for tacky raunchiness and a yen for what teenagers call "gross-outs." (Sept.) FYI: Lansdale is the winner of the British Fantasy Award, the American Horror Award and five Bram Stoker Awards from the Horror Writers of America. He has written or edited 31 books, including 16 novels. Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Library Journal
While not dumber than a fence post, Bill Roberts is not noticeably smarter either. When his mother dies abruptly, Bill douses her remains with cologne, swathes the whole in plastic bags, and hopes that he can continue to cash her social security checks. His next brainstorm involves recruiting two buddies to rob a fireworks stand. During the holdup and its aftermath, the storeowner is shot, one of the accomplices gets a Roman candle lodged in his brain, and the other is bitten to death by water moccasins. Bill ends up as part of a traveling freak show, where he gets acquainted with a pair of African American Siamese twins, the Dog Man, and the Ice Man, a shadowy presence and the show's star attraction. This menagerie is presided over by a benevolent beardless Santa Claus whose curvaceous wife uses her manifold charms to persuade Bill that they ought to murder her husband. The irrepressible Lansdale (Rumble Tumble) continues to amuse and astonish with his outrageous storytelling. Definitely not for the squeamish, but highly recommended for those who enjoy the worm in their mezcal.ABob Lunn, Kansas City P.L., MO Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.


Entertainment Weekly
"Lansdale has a zest for storytelling and [a] gimlet eye for detail."


Washington Post Book World
"A terrifically gifted storyteller."


From Kirkus Reviews
The thing that Bill Roberts misses most about his recently defunct mom is her signature. Social security checksseven of themare piling up, and Bill doesn't see himself as much of a forger. Nor as much of a wage-earner in any conventional sense of the term, which is why a heist of the fireworks stand across the road seems a viable idea. But Bill isn't much of an armed robber either, and the attempted hold-up swiftly becomes a disaster. Bill flees, a step ahead of the East Texas law. For one of the few times in his misbegotten life he gets luckyenough to lose his pursuers in a friendly swamp. Safe though exhausted, he falls asleep, waking to find himself among outtakes from The Origin of Species. Actually, he's in the midst of a low-rent traveling freak show, owned and operated by warmhearted John Frost, who doesn't deserve what is soon to happen to himhaving to do with his marriage to a ruthless, conniving bimbo, her moral sense as underdeveloped as her bosom isn't. Frost, kindness itself to his misfit collection (the dogman, the bearded lady, the pumpkin head, and the Siamese twins among others), is good to Bill, too, taking him in and giving him a job. In gratitude, Bill allows himself to be seduced by the concupiscent Mrs. Frost. Eventually, he joins her in the kind of conspiracy dear to the hearts of noirists late and soon, and if you know your James M. Cain at all, you'll guess how badly it turns out. Lansdale shelves his funny sleuths Hap and Leonard (Rumble Tumble, 1998, etc.) for the sake of this depressing slog through grotesquerie. Lets hope it's just a detour. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.


Houston Chronicle
"Lansdale is a storyteller in the Texas tradition of outrageousnessbut amped up to about 100,000 watts."


Austin Chronicle
"Delivers his uniquely volatile brand of nuclear fiction like death from above."


Booklist
"Lansdale is an immense talent."


Download Description
Hideously disfigured during a bungled firecracker stand hold-up, Bill joins a traveling freak show to evade police. He doesn't stand out too much among the dogmen, bearded women, hermaphrodites, and the mysterious frozen man whose sinister aura seems to link them all.


About the Author
JOE R. LANSDALE has written over 200 short stories and over a dozen novels in the suspense, horror, and Western genres. He has also edited several anthologies of dark suspense and Western fiction. He has received the British Fantasy Award, the American Mystery Award, and five Bram Stoker Awards from the Horror Writers of America. He lives in East Texas with his wife, son, daughter, and German shepherd.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

"Once again, the scene is East Texas: Lansdale country. Loner, loser, and sometime armed robber Bill Roberts is the wrong kind of mama's boy-mom is in the back room collecting both Social Security checks and flies. But Bill wants more easy money, and his latest scheme is about to thrust him into a bizarre new world. A raid on the fireworks stand just across the road turns into a bungled display of bullets, blood, and police badges. Bill hightails it into a nearby swamp and soon, like his mom, starts attracting insects. And when he stumbles out of the mud a day later and bumps into the camp of a cut-rate traveling country freak show, he finds an ideal way to evade the cops. Among the pinheads, pumpkin heads, the bearded lady, and the dog-man, Bill and his swollen, mosquito-bitten face are a near-natural fit. He's accepted by the group and its silver-haired, enigmatic master of ceremonies. Especially warm and welcoming is the ringleader's irresistible, luscious young wife. Bill Roberts, trouble magnet and felon, is in over his head...struggling for control in a world more twisted than a carnival fun house...a world as ominous as this freak show's main attraction, the mysterious frozen man whose mute, sinister aura seems to tie them all together. Vivid, shocking, brutal, and peopled by characters who-in spite of their strangeness or weaknesses-mirror our deepest fears, Freezer Burn sizzles." "Texas is so wrapped up in myth and legend, it's hard to know what the state and its people are really about," says Lansdale. "Real Texans, raised on these myths and legends, sometimes become legends themselves. The bottom line is, Texas and its people are pretty much what most people mean when they use the broader term 'America.' No state better represents the independent spirit, the can-do attitude of America, better than Texas." The second ingredient to good Mojo storytelling is learning how to take a punch. Or a kick. Or a poke in the eye. And then learning how to avoid them. Lansdale is a student of the martial arts for more than thirty years. He's a two-time inductee into the International Martial Arts Hall of Fame, one such honor bestowed upon him for his founding of Shen Chuan, Martial Science. He holds belts in Daito Ryu Aikijujutsu, Combat Hapkido, American Combat Kempo, and Aikido, amongst others; in fact, his standard day is six hours at the typewriter, three hours at Lansdale's Self Defense Systems, the martial-arts studio which he owns and at which he teaches. With more than twenty books to his credit-and 200 short stories-Joe R. Lansdale is the champion Mojo storyteller. He's been called "the Stephen King of Texas" by Texas Monthly; "an immense talent" by Booklist; "a born storyteller" by Robert Bloch; and The New York Times Book Review declares he has "a folklorist's eye for telling detail and a front-porch raconteur's sense of pace." He's won umpty-ump awards, including five Bram Stoker horror awards, a British Fantasy Award, the American Mystery Award, the Horror Critics Award, the "Shot in the Dark". International Crime Writer's award, the Booklist Editor's Award, the Critic's Choice Award, and a New York Times Notable Book award. He's got the most decorated mantle in all of Nacogdoches! Lansdale lives in Nacogdoches, Texas, with his wife, Karen-an occasional writer and editor-and their son and daughter, Keith and Kasey."

SYNOPSIS

If you think you knew Joe R. Lansdale—whose work People hailed as "10-alarm chili, pretty strong stuff"—look again. Here, America's most outrageous author gleefully breaks society's last taboos...and introduces a fiercely drawn protagonist you'll almost hate yourself for liking. Once again, the scene is East Texas: Lansdale country. Loner, loser, and sometime armed robber Bill Roberts is the wrong kind of mama's boy-mom is in the back room collecting both Social Security checks and flies. But Bill wants more easy money, and his latest scheme is about to thrust him into a bizarre new world. A raid on the fireworks stand just across the road turns into a bungled display of bullets, blood, and police badges. Bill hightails it into a nearby swamp and soon, like his mom, starts attracting insects. And when he stumbles out of the mud a day later and bumps into the camp of a cut-rate traveling country freak show, he finds an ideal way to evade the cops. Among the pinheads, pumpkin heads, the bearded lady, and the dog-man, Bill and his swollen, mosquito-bitten face are a near-natural fit. He's accepted by the group and its silver-haired, enigmatic master of ceremonies. Especially warm and welcoming is the ringleader's irresistible, luscious young wife. Bill Roberts, trouble magnet and felon, is in over his head...struggling for control in a world more twisted than a carnival fun house...a world as ominous as this freak show's main attraction, the mysterious frozen man whose mute, sinister aura seems to tie them all together. Vivid, shocking, brutal, and peopled by characters who-in spite of their strangeness or weaknesses-mirror our deepest fears, Freezer Burn sizzles.

FROM THE CRITICS

Edward Bryant - Locus

...Lansdale's setting himself up for some pretty rigorous comparisons with the likes of Cain and O'Connor. The good news is that.... [this] is one tough mother of a novel, mean, edgy, hardboiled to the max. It is also a genuinely comic novel....Lansdale owns an impressive capacity for treating darkness...

Publishers Weekly

Professional loser Bill Roberts's mother has died, and if he buries her he'll lose her pension checks, which he's also afraid to cash. Out of money and food, he joins two idiot friends and concocts a robbery of a neighboring firecracker stand. They botch the job and flee into the swamps, where Bill escapes, his face so swollen with mosquito bites that John Frost, manager of a traveling carnival and freak show, takes him in. Frost is married to the gorgeous, blonde Gidget, a virtual sex-machine and the most desirable woman Bill has ever seen. Bill is soon immersed in a world of freaks, where he makes friends with Conrad the Wonder Dog and U.S. Grant, the bearded lady, and quickly becomes embroiled with Gidget in a Double Indemnity-style plot to kill Frost and take over the business. Lansdale outdoes himself in rendering sophomoric sexual fantasy and graphic, stomach-turning passages of lurid behavior. There's also an inordinate amount of concern with penile size, bouncing breasts and tiny jeans shorts. As protagonist, Bill is not as much a hero as victim of circumstance, a man who "everywhere he turned is socked by the mallet of stupidity." But at the story's climax, Lansdale reveals Bill to be a true sucker, and unfortunately, readers may not be sympathetic to or appreciative of his folly. The details of East Texas swamps and forests seem on target, although the humor often misfires with overloaded similes and strained attempts to be outrageous. Still, this a page-turner suitable for bus or beach and for anyone with a predilection for tacky raunchiness and a yen for what teenagers call "gross-outs." (Sept.) FYI: Lansdale is the winner of the British Fantasy Award, the American Horror Award and five Bram Stoker Awards from the Horror Writers of America. He has written or edited 31 books, including 16 novels. Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.

Library Journal

While not dumber than a fence post, Bill Roberts is not noticeably smarter either. When his mother dies abruptly, Bill douses her remains with cologne, swathes the whole in plastic bags, and hopes that he can continue to cash her social security checks. His next brainstorm involves recruiting two buddies to rob a fireworks stand. During the holdup and its aftermath, the storeowner is shot, one of the accomplices gets a Roman candle lodged in his brain, and the other is bitten to death by water moccasins. Bill ends up as part of a traveling freak show, where he gets acquainted with a pair of African American Siamese twins, the Dog Man, and the Ice Man, a shadowy presence and the show's star attraction. This menagerie is presided over by a benevolent beardless Santa Claus whose curvaceous wife uses her manifold charms to persuade Bill that they ought to murder her husband. The irrepressible Lansdale (Rumble Tumble) continues to amuse and astonish with his outrageous storytelling. Definitely not for the squeamish, but highly recommended for those who enjoy the worm in their mezcal.--Bob Lunn, Kansas City P.L., MO Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.

Edward Bryant - Locus

...Lansdale's setting himself up for some pretty rigorous comparisons with the likes of Cain and O'Connor. The good news is that.... [this] is one tough mother of a novel, mean, edgy, hardboiled to the max. It is also a genuinely comic novel....Lansdale owns an impressive capacity for treating darkness...

Entertainment Weekly