Diane Donovan, Chicago Tribune, July 18, 1992
Steele pulls no punches as he explains how to attract the young, from dress codes to actions. The honest approach and advice are unusually solid and explicit, from sex and the young woman to analysis of her real motivation to step-by-step courting scenarios, with emphasis on strategy based on understanding. Men interested in a no-holds-barred approach will find this book unique, one of the most refreshing guides available. Women not involved in defining chauvinist behavior will learn a lot, too.

Book Description
224 pages of realistic methods and sound advice from a man who has dated young women for the past 25 years. You're going to know what she has to offer and what you absolutely cannot expect from her. You will end up knowing what it really takes for a fortyish man to date a twentyish woman. Steele's experiences are here for you to learn from, good ones, funny ones and horror stories. When done reading you'll avoid many of the mistakes he made as you learn the complex, delicate rituals and courtship practices insisted upon by a young woman interested in an older man.

From the Publisher
45,000 copies sold to date. Absolutely guaranteed money back no questions asked. Steele has been on Montel Williams, Jenny Jones, Jane Whitney and Danny Bonaduce TV shows and done over 200 radio interviews.

From the Author
Credentials? been there and back, plus I've made every possible mistake but learned from it all. But, I wrote it all down, the successes, the failures, the frustration, the joys, the pain. It's all there for you to learn from. Since 1972, when I was 32, I've only been involved with young women: married to, divorced from, lived with and dated. Now, at 56, I am living with and loving Joanna Bardot Lopez, 23. If you want truth, not pie-in-the-sky promises this book is for you. The Revised Edition includes all original material plus everything else that I've learned the hard way. Every year hundreds of guys write thanking me for turning their dating lives around. Many suggest I delete "Young" from the title because much of the strategy, tactics, methods and advice apply equally to women of all ages. I agree, but the title gets me on the radio and on TV, necessary to sell books.

From the Back Cover
For The Man Who Refuses To Buy Or Bullshit Young Women. Steele tells you bluntly who she is, where she is, then how to meet, talk with and date her. The principles are based entirely on understanding a young woman and her real motivation to date a man your age. Learn why she wants and needs to be your lover, then how to let it happen, not make it happen. Understanding 18-24, 25-29 And 30-34 Women Identifying Which Ones Are Interested In Older Men Why She's Afraid And How To Overcome Her Fears How To Act, Dress And Talk To Interest And Attract Her Where To Find Her And How To Meet Her So You Can Talk With Her Naturally What To Always Say, Never Say Courting When She Knows There's No Wedding In Your Future Getting That Tough First Date How To Behave On Dates With Her Seducing Her Sustaining Your Affair With Her

About the Author
Don's first job was in 1952, age 12. In the heart of Appalachia, he was the Saturday telephone operator in his home town of Shippenville, Pennsylvania, population 258. He earned ten cents an hour. At 16, he worked as an embalmer's assistant for the summer. The next summer, he was an oiler of strip mining equipment, a muddy, cold, dreary, dangerous task. Those two jobs convinced him to get an education. He attended Clarion State, Penn State, USC and Cal State Fullerton to earn a BA in Philosophy and Cal State Northridge for his MA in Psychology. Don has worked for more than 20 aerospace, defense and engineering companies as well as the Republican National Committee and many political campaigns. He and Joanna Bardot Lopez live in Hawaii.

Excerpted from How To Date Young Women For Men Over 35 by R. Don Steele. Copyright (c) 1995. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved
This is not a book of interviews with young women and a writer's disguised guess as to what it all means. This is a how-to book by a 56 year old man who has done it for the past 25 years and continues to do it. I explain how to make your fantasies come true but right now that's exactly what they are, fantasies. You are going to learn how young women think, what's important to them and what they want from a man. You'll know what you have to be and look like to attract her. I explain where to find her, how to meet her, what to say to her, principles of courting when you're 20 years older than she is, what her real motives are for dating you, how to behave on dates and how to seduce her. I tell you the must do's as well as the no no's. You're going to know what she has to offer and what you absolutely cannot expect from her. You will end up knowing what it really takes for a fortyish man to date a twentyish woman. My experiences are here for you to learn from, good ones, funny ones and horror stories. When done reading you'll avoid many of the mistakes I made as you learn the complex, delicate rituals and courtship practices insisted upon by a young woman interested in an older man. But you have to learn by doing. If you want to break, then ride a horse, a wild young mare, you can't read a book then sit on the corral fence theorizing about it. You have to climb on and get thrown, again and again. Eventually you'll realize you must talk gently to her, letting her know you intend no harm, showing no fear while radiating, "I'm in charge here." When you can do that she'll let you mount her and won't buck you off. There are 13 million young women out there. At this very moment a half a million of them are being courted by men twice their age. Tens of thousands are having affairs with an older man right now, loving every minute. So how do you get involved? You already date women, right? No matter how old she is the steps are the same: find, meet, talk, date. What's the problem then, you ask? The Problem. Clearly stated, you don't know how to: (1) find her (2) meet her and (3) talk with her. Dating follows naturally if you converse with her correctly, based on the rules of engagement as she understands them. Presently you solve this three-part problem several times each year, the only difference is the female's age. Find Her. Where do you find women right now? At work, in bars, attending classes, through friends, at parties and sometimes in the most unexpected places, like the post office. You find young women in the same places! No bleep, you say. Well, everywhere except bars. Forget them, much more later. My point is, finding her is not a big part of this problem. Meet Her. It's no different from meeting a woman. You introduce yourself, someone introduces you or she introduces herself. You have nearly all the skills and resources right now. This part of the problem is solved with only your big head, some chutzpah and learning a few techniques. But that's after, only after, you understand her, what she wants from you and what she's afraid of. Talk With Her. Look closely at this one. It is made up of two tasks. Task A is delivering an opening line that won't make her laugh at you or scare her away. For bleep's sake, don't use any from How to Pick Up Girls. Task B is sustaining the conversation long enough for her to realize you are (a) safe (b) interesting and (c) attractive. Essence Of The Problem. The substance, the essential difference, the core, or, to put it more succinctly, the entire bleeping thing comes down to Task B with its four sub-tasks. Sustained Contact. You have to talk with her for a minimum of four or five minutes. At this point you don't know much about talking with anyone under 25. You don't yet have the ability to carry on a conversation she can, like, relate to. You know, like, on her level. Simple, you know, like friendly, relaxed, you know, like, well, totally casual. No, they're not all air heads or valley girls. But "casual" is what every last one of them needs to realize you're not dangerous. She is afraid you might be physically dangerous as well as socially and emotionally dangerous. Physical Danger. She thinks you could be the Night Stalker's brother or a dirty old man trying to cop a feel. Being relaxed and friendly makes it possible for her to see you're safe. You do this with women. Young women just take longer. But it isn't how much longer it takes her. The real problem is your lust, your excitement, your impatience, your lack of confidence, your fear of rejection. These combine, causing you to radiate bad vibrations. She picks them up and thinks you could be very dangerous, at which point she says, "Later, old man," with or without words. Social Danger. You'll soon learn how to control yourself and your emotions when talking with her. Then you must figure out how to calm her fear of the threat you pose to her socially. In simple English, you learn how to not be direct or obvious. You have to be casual enough so she doesn't have to worry her friends, peers, and possibly her boyfriend, will ridicule or reject her if she's seen talking with you. The problem is not her fear, it's you but not your emotions. You haven't mastered the art of being casual. A young woman's not only worried about being seen talking with you. She has far more to lose by dating you. If her friends find out she will be ostracized. No young man in her circles will consider her as a wife, feeling she is used merchandise, some old man's cast off. The way our world works people only smirk about you but they strongly condemn her, calling her sick, a gold digger, promiscuous or a slut. With what you learn from me and patience, her view of you as socially dangerous can be transformed into the realization you are discreet, subtle and sensitive to her situation. Emotional Danger. She thinks you're so powerful, so knowledgeable, you will be able to sexually use her, then discard her. This is her biggest fear. Although this sounds impossible to overcome, it isn't. I spend fewer pages on this than the others. Trial and error, mostly error, will teach you what to do. Interesting And Attracting Her. I don't mean to be glib but after you know how to deal with her fears you only have to be yourself. Of course you have to look like someone she'd like to talk with but that's all explained. Then you have to religiously follow the Ten Commandments Of Meeting and the Eleven Commandments Of Courtship. You must also have Answers To Inevitable Questions down pat. Her Motives You're asking her to go against everything parents, boyfriend, church, society and girl friends have drilled into that pretty young head and heart of hers. Why will she do it? One element of her motivation is the desire to be seriously bleeped, the way she's heard it's supposed to be done. As you now know her best experience does not begin to measure up to what she's heard from other girls, read in Cosmopolitan or seen in the movies. And, "fer sure," there is the stereotype of older men as knowledgeable, experienced lovers. She knows there must be more to it. But this is one of her darkest, most closely held secrets, slightly behind masturbating and feeling terribly lonely. She fantasizes what a "real man" would do with her. If she's a bit drunk she talks to her closest girl friend about what it should be like. Don't get this wrong. She's not obsessed with sex but wonders if she's missing something important. So far her boyfriend's best efforts aren't much. He wants his bleep sucked all the time. He's reluctant to give her bleep and has no idea a bleep isn't a miniature bleep, if he even knows where it is. He lasts two minutes after entering her. She and her contemporaries know, on some level, there's more to it. Part of the attraction is your age. It makes you different, plain and simple. You are attracted to her because she's different from 38 year old divorcees. Also, your age qualifies you to participate with her in a forbidden romance, a turn on to females of any age. She wants to experience life. You have the knowledge and money to show her a world she's only seen on television and read about in People. Older lovers have lots to offer says Cosmopolitan. One of her girl friend's acquaintances has one. She's ready to give it a try. Now that I'm single, she's confused about my purpose and goal. "He's kind of a potential husband but he's so old." Everything's muddled. She wants to get married someday but she's been used and lied to by every guy over 26 she's ever been out with. No matter what I say or do she thinks I am primarily interested in her bleep. I'm something she's not encountered before. I don't want to just nail her. I want to have a caring, romantic, fun-filled affair for as long as we enjoy each other. She knows that on some level from my attitude and approach, sometimes she even asks me directly. "Gosh! An affair? Really? You know, like, I don' know. Jeez. What about my boyfriend?" To answer that question and to really understand her, you need to know Which Young Women, otherwise, you'll waste time pursuing the wrong ones.

SYNOPSIS

224 pages of realistic methods and sound advice from a man who has dated young women for the past 25 years. You're going to know what she has to offer and what you absolutely cannot expect from her. You will end up knowing what it really takes for a fortyish man to date a twentyish woman. Steele's experiences are here for you to learn from, good ones, funny ones and horror stories. When done reading you'll avoid many of the mistakes he made as you learn the complex, delicate rituals and courtship practices insisted upon by a young woman interested in an older man.

FROM THE CRITICS

Chicago Tribune