From Library Journal
Intended for lay readers, these complementary books discuss the theory and practice of treating sexual dysfunction. Hakim is a surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic in Weston, FL, with a practice devoted to treating women's and men's sexual problems. The Couple's Disease covers a wide variety of syndromes with detailed but digestible descriptions and a heartening array of curative approaches pharmaceutical, surgical, and psychosocial. Hakim accurately notes that while psychosocial causes for sexual problems were considered "the rule" in the past, recent findings identify many more pharmaco-medical factors. Caveats to treatments are offered appropriately, current research is described, and the illustrations are very clear. The appendix on sexually transmitted diseases is welcome, and the fictionalized "Dr. Hakim's Waiting Room" sections provide interesting and sometimes amusing glimpses of patients' concerns, despite appearing a bit self-promotional. An index and a more complete bibliography to studies mentioned in the text would have rendered this book even more valuable. Married for 30-some years, the Lakens confronted and survived male erectile dysfunction as a side effect of prostate surgery. Their first-person account is readable, informative, and persuasive. While Keith had the dysfunction, both he and Virginia underwent mutual and individual healing to reinstate sexual intimacy disrupted by the surgery. The passages that explore their emotional conflicts allow readers to empathize and to validate their own hesitations about seeking treatment without minimizing the difficulties. Paradoxically, a glossary, extended bibliography and resources list, and index make this book more professionally complete than Hakim's. Both books are solidly recommended for all public libraries. Martha Cornog, Philadelphia Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Many HamelburgExecutive DirectorMassachusetts Prostate Cancer Coalition
"We recommend all those who want to improve their relationships read this book."

Minneapolis Star Tribune
"The newest national poster people for impotence...a candid and explicit new book."

David Barrett, M.D., Chief Executive Officer, Lahey Clinic, Boston, Massachusetts
"A remarkable story for both patients and physicians."

Psychology Today
"...with such unreserved honesty that the book is a genuine page-turner."

Family Urology
"Clearly this effort is a labor of love and an effort to help other couples dealing with ED."

The Washington Post
" a must-read textbook for physicians...from patient's point of view...a handbook for thousands dealing with erectile dysfunction."

Chris Kraft, Ph.D., Johns Hopkins Center for Marital and Sexual Health
"A groundbreaking book that is a ‘must read’...Should be in all hospital, medical, public and personal libraries."

Library Journal
"…professionally complete…solidly recommended for all public libraries."

The Los Angeles Times
"A couple's book chronicles how they reclaimed and redefined intimacy."

Boston Sunday Herald
"Remarkably candid…offers informed accounts of what medicine and modern psychology have to offer couples dealing with male sexual dysfunction."

Book Description
Each year in this country, 30 million men and their partners are robbed of an essential part of their lives when they are faced with sexual dysfunction due to diabetes, prostate cancer, an injury or psychological reasons. Many desperately want advice, but are too embarrassed to broach the subject with a doctor or even with each other.

In their timely and medically recognized book, Making Love Again, Virginia and Keith Laken give hope to these individuals who, like themselves, want to "feel normal" again. Virginia tells the story of how she and her husband have dealt with his sexual dysfunction, brought on by a radical prostectomy at the age of forty-nine. She reveals the solutions that have brought them closer together, and offers further resources and support groups that can be found on both the Internet and through local and national organizations. Making Love Again proves that it is possible to break free of one's pre-conceived ideas about sex, and to overcome impotency by continuing to make love in whatever form lovemaking may take. With a foreward by Dr. David Barrett, CEO of the Lahey Clinic, readers will admire the medical community's acknowledgement of this book as an aid to couples seeking to regain physical intimacy.

From the Publisher
Never before has one couple offered to share the intimate story of their struggle with impotence. Usually relegated to the realm of medical texts, this topic is so sensitive that partners can barely discuss it with each other let alone write it down for the world to read. Virginia and Keith Laken's eminently readable story details the arguments and the frustration they experienced in dealing with his impotence. At the same time, it also gives readers a great deal of hope. Virginia and Keith took to heart the simple advice of their Mayo Clinic psychologist to never stop making love, in whatever form love-making may take. Feeling strongly that sex is worth saving, the couple learned that persistence can make all the difference. Making Love Again is emotionally engaging, and full of the optimism sought by others struggling with impotence.

About the Author
Virginia Laken is a communications consultant and Keith is a corporate executive. Married for 34 years, they are the proud parents of two adult children and have four adorable grandsons. They make their home in the rural Midwest.

Excerpted from Making Love Again : Hope for Couples Facing Loss of Sexual Intimacy by Virginia Laken, Keith Laken. Copyright © 2002. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
INTRODUCTION Although this book is written by my wife, Virginia, it has always been important to Gin and me that this book accurately reflect the story of how the two of us learned to deal with—and overcome—impotence. And how could we think otherwise? Impotence, by its very nature, affects both partners in a relationship, so, logically, any story about it should give equal time to both the male and female voices. But writing isn’t something I’m very good at. So when we had to decide who would actually put the story on paper, we always knew it would be Gin who would do the writing. This doesn’t mean, however, that I sat back while Gin told my story “as she saw it.” I was an active, involved participant in this book, reading the text as it evolved daily. I frequently critiqued Gin’s interpretation, and added and deleted details freely. I included my opinions and corrected her perceptions when I needed to. Gin and I have spent literally hundreds of hours talking about scenes, dialogue and, most importantly, the journal entries that offer our most personal reflections. The time and energy we have invested in Making Love Again, however, have been worth every second. Not only have we been able to produce a book of which we are both proud, but we’ve also been able to analyze our own story from a more objective, distanced point of view. In the “Looking Back” sections of the book, you’ll find that we’ve really put that objective point of view to work—reflecting back with six years of hindsight. In the thick of things, sometimes we said or did the wrong thing. Other times we didn’t grasp what the other person was feeling. But now that we’re in a place where we can better understand our emotional responses to impotence, we want to share what we’ve learned—along with the greater appreciation for happiness and joy we’ve found in our sexual relationship. Our goal was always to write a book that focused not so much on the cause of impotence but on its effects. I would be remiss, though, if I did not at this point acknowledge the reality of my “trigger” for becoming impotent. Prostate cancer is a deadly disease, and should never be underestimated in its ability to kill. While I feel I’m cured of my disease, I never want to come across as minimizing that threat. I have only the deepest respect and empathy for the thousands of cancer victims who have never had the chance, like I did, to get beyond fighting the disease. I know I’m one lucky guy—and I often find myself embarrassed and humbled by the fact that I’ve survived while so many others have not. But I did survive, and the question became: Now what do I do with my life? My hope is that, in part, this book gives back to the prostate-cancer community—and to anyone suffering from impotence. I want others to realize that there is hope after becoming sexually dysfunctional. Life can still be rewarding. And you can still have great sex! —Keith Laken

FROM THE PUBLISHER

After you stop making love temporarily, how long does it take until you slide into stopping permanently?

When Virginia Laken asked herself this question, her marriage was suffering. She and her husband Keith felt distanced from each other by a lack of sexual intimacy. While a radical prostatectomy had saved Keith's life from prostate cancer, it had also taken away his ability to get an erection. And neither partner knew how to make their love life "right" again.

In their groundbreaking book, this very real couple offers the true and incredibly candid story of how they regained physical intimacy after sexual dysfunction. Anyone who has ever felt such a loss will benefit from the lessons Virginia and Keith learned along their journey.

Most importantly, the couple discovered, it's not erections that allow men and women to be intimate-it's an understanding of the need for a safe and nonjudgemental place where mutual physical pleasure and emotional care can flourish.


About the Authors

Virginia Laken is a communications consultant and Keith is a corporate executive. Married for 34 years, they are the proud parents of two adult children and four adorable grandsons. They make their home in the rural Midwest.

SYNOPSIS

Each year in this country, 30 million men and their partners are robbed of an essential part of their lives when they are faced with sexual dysfunction due to diabetes, prostate cancer, an injury or psychological reasons. Many desperately want advice, but are too embarrassed to broach the subject with a doctor or even with each other.

In their timely and medically recognized book, Making Love Again, Virginia and Keith Laken give hope to these individuals who, like themselves, want to "feel normal" again.

Virginia tells the story of how she and her husband have dealt with his sexual dysfunction, brought on by a radical prostectomy at the age of forty-nine. She reveals the solutions that have brought them closer together, and offers further resources and support groups that can be found on both the Internet and through local and national organizations.

Making Love Again proves that it is possible to break free of one's pre-conceived ideas about sex, and to overcome impotency by continuing to make love in whatever form lovemaking may take.

With a foreword by Dr. David Barrett, CEO of the Lahey Clinic, readers will admire the medical community's acknowledgment of this book as an aid to couples seeking to regain physical intimacy.

FROM THE CRITICS

David Barrett - Chief Executive Officer Lahey Clinic, Boston, Massachusetts

A remarkable story for both patients and physicians. The Lakens describe what so many must feel when facing the same challenges. Their frank descriptions have ... allowed us all to gain insight and how one can indeed face, cope with, and overcome the fears associated with this condition.￯﾿ﾽ

Chris Kraft - Johns Hopkins Center for Marital and Sexual Health

A groundbreaking book that is a ￯﾿ﾽmust read￯﾿ﾽ for health-care providers or anyone dealing with sexual dysfunction, prostate cancer, or lack of sexual intimacy. Should be in all hospital, medical, public and personal libraries.

James A. Talcott - Director, Center for Outcomes Research Massachusetts General Hospital Cancer Center

... the Lakens have opened a window on the challenge faced by tens of thousands of prostate cancer couples annually ￯﾿ﾽ to rebuild their sex lives despite severe treatment-related erectile dysfunction.

This necessary book will help patients and their lovers face problems, identify solutions that work for them and transcend despair. It also will help their physicians understand their patients' experience, be alert to their needs and be quicker to provide professional guidance.

Washington Post

This is a must-read textbook for physicians on what prostate cancer is like from the patient's point of view. It is also a handbook for the thousands of men and women who are dealing with that feared medical term ED-erectile dysfunction. Sexual problems are not limited to cancer patients but also affect those with such common diagnoses as heart disease, diabetes and depression. The story of the Lakens will resonate with all of them.

Los Angeles Times