From Library Journal
Much has been made of the "cloying mother/ distant father" connection in the development of male homosexuals, but this collection of essays by over two dozen journalists, novelists, playwrights, and poets more truly describes the real range of this often complicated relationship. Indeed, even many of those distant fathers may not realize just how truly influential, for good and bad, they were in their sons' lives. Compiled by the executive editor of Out magazine, this collection runs the emotional gamut from pedestrian confessional to poetic musings that reveal heart-wrenching beauty and tenderness. The best pieces not only describe the father but also illuminate what kind of men their sons have become, although it would have been enlightening to hear more from gay men now becoming fathers themselves. The 28 contributors include Mark Doty, Felice Picano, Bernard Cooper, and many others both well known and not, covering a broad range of geographies and ethnicities. The specificity of the topic might limit this title's appeal, but it is nevertheless recommended for most larger collections.Jeff Ingram, Newport P.L., OR Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Booklist
A man's relationship with his father is always complicated--it's the stuff of novels, films, and made-for-TV movies. So what happens when the son is gay? Shenitz brings together an anthology of some of today's finest gay writers to discuss, from a very personal perspective, what happens to the father-son dynamic when this is the case. The writers reflect various generations of gay writing, from the reliable-but-tired stars of the 1970s, to queer theorists and other gay academics, to some wonderful new voices emerging in contemporary gay fiction. The book can be broken up into three categories: dead fathers whose sons never mentioned their homosexuality, fathers who never forgave their sons for being gay, and fathers who have been marvelously accepting. This collection of 28 pieces offers a rich pageant of emotions as sons come to grips with their own feelings about their fathers. Wonderful for anyone coming to terms with his own sexuality, coming out to his family, or coming to realize the importance of a father in his life. Michael Spinella
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved


Patricia Nell Warren, Author and Publisher
"Anthologies are seldom as riveting, risk-taking, and richly textured as this landmark collection.... I couldn’t put it down."


Christopher Bram, author of Father of Frankenstein and The Notorious Dr. August
"A smart, tough book.... I can’t imagine anyone, gay or straight, not finding a piece of themselves reflected here."


Edmund White
"In Bruce Shenitz’s well-chosen collection, father becomes an active verb."


Dr. Charles Silverstein, co-author of The New Joy of Gay Sex
"The stories...are like love poems.... It is simply wonderful reading."


Book Description
Fathers and sons: Writers throughout history have grappled with the relationships between them. Now The Man I Might Become: Gay Men Write About Their Fathers assembles twenty-eight essays, which, taken together, offer as complete a picture as we have ever had of how the lives of gay sons and their fathers unfold. "The anecdotes one hears in any gay lifetime," writes Andrew Holleran, in his foreword, "include every conceivable combination of father and sons—fathers who were despised, adored, crucial, irrelevant, remote or intimate—just like the fathers of straight men and women." From the first piece in the collection, Peter M. Krask’s "The Question I Asked Him," to the last, Bernard Cooper’s "Winner Take Nothing," the stories amply demonstrate this observation, and offer a moving pageant of lost opportunities and regrets, comforts and sorrows, hatred and affection. "These essays move sequentially from alienation toward reconciliation," writes editor Bruce Shenitz in his introduction, "with several intermediate steps—puzzled incomprehension, grudging acceptance, strained attempts at understanding—and a detour into sexual mythologies. Whether they are read in sequence or at random, they provide a rough typology of father-son relationships that are richly different from each other. There are no simple explanations for why some of these relationships deepen while others never move beyond painful confrontations; what these writings offer is the suggestion of a range of possibilities." The Man I Might Become offers an essential reading experience for every gay man coming to terms with his father, his family, and his own future as a man—and for any reader (straight or gay, parent or child) curious about the ways that we live with the legacy of our fathers.

ANNOTATION

2002 Lambda Literary Award Finalist, Nonfiction Anthology.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Fathers and sons: Writers throughout history have grappled with the relationships between them. Now The Man I Might Become assembles twenty-eight essays, which, taken together, offer as complete a picture as we have ever had of how the lives of gay sons and their fathers unfold. ￯﾿ﾽThe anecdotes one hears in any gay lifetime,￯﾿ﾽ writes Andrew Holleran, in his foreword, ￯﾿ﾽinclude every conceivable combination of father and sons￯﾿ﾽfathers who were despised, adored, crucial, irrelevant, remote or intimate￯﾿ﾽjust like the fathers of straight men and women.￯﾿ﾽ From the first piece in the collection, Peter M. Krask￯﾿ﾽs ￯﾿ﾽThe Question I Asked Him,￯﾿ﾽ to the last, Bernard Cooper￯﾿ﾽs ￯﾿ﾽWinner Take Nothing,￯﾿ﾽ the stories amply demonstrate this observation, and offer a moving pageant of lost opportunities and regrets, comforts and sorrows, hatred and affection. ￯﾿ﾽThese essays move sequentially from alienation toward reconciliation,￯﾿ﾽ writes editor Bruce Shenitz in his introduction, ￯﾿ﾽwith several intermediate steps￯﾿ﾽpuzzled incomprehension, grudging acceptance, strained attempts at understanding￯﾿ﾽand a detour into sexual mythologies. Whether they are read in sequence or at random, they provide a rough typology of father-son relationships that are richly different from each other. There are no simple explanations for why some of these relationships deepen while others never move beyond painful confrontations; what these writings offer is the suggestion of a range of possibilities.￯﾿ﾽ The Man I Might Become is essential reading for every gay man coming to terms with his father, his family, and his own future as a man￯﾿ﾽand for any reader (straight or gay, parent or child) curious about the ways that we live with the legacy of our fathers.

FROM THE CRITICS

Library Journal