Book Description
Little did Amy Wallace know that her first meeting with Carlos Castaneda would begin a 20-year friendship, eventually leading to a life-changing love affair. The elusive Castaneda told Amy that her late father had appeared to him in a dream, extracting from Castaneda a promise to take care of her. Wallace came to accept this, falling deeply in love with Castaneda. Eventually, she also fell under the spell of this brilliant, domineering man, becoming a member of his devoted following. Sorcerer's Apprentice examines Wallace's life within the group and her dependence on its leader, with his dangerous combination of charisma and cruelty. The story tracks two people approaching an affair with opposite agendas: Castaneda wanted to make Wallace a "sorcerer"; she wanted to make him a lover. Along with numerous photographs, this is an intimate, riveting, and controversial story that serves as a cautionary tale, providing a rare inside glimpse into Castaneda's inner circle and life.


From the Inside Flap
"Amy Wallace takes you behind the scenes into the bizarre personal and sexual life of one of the most influential yet elusive figures of the 60s and beyond—Carlos Castaneda. This book is her journey with the man and his inner circle from her unique vantage point as one of his lovers and wives. Her idealism and disillusionment mirror that of an era which left many, like Amy, searching for hope and unwilling to descend into cynicism and bitterness. Amy’s struggle to rebuild a new foundation, though a story of seduction and betrayal on many levels, is also about the author’s reaching for transformation and personal meaning. This book will greatly interest anyone who was ever affected by ‘the teachings of don Juan.’ " —Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad, co-authors of The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power "Carlos Castaneda told astonishing truths, with an empowering Gnostic brilliance. He also told astonishing lies, spinning out like wild silk from a crazy spider’s ass. Sorcerer’s Apprentice tells the horrifying, heartbreaking tale of the lives entangled in his web. And it hurts like a son of a bitch. With far greater personal honesty than Castaneda ever managed, Amy Wallace drags us—first happily, then screamingly—deep into the Cult of Carlos: boldly capturing both the staggering beauty and the utter steaming nonsense of his world. It’s an ass-kicking, soul-grinding book, beautifully written and breathtakingly acute. I suggest that you read it, and test your faith." —John Skipp, novelist, filmmaker "Amy Wallace has gone through the looking glass of Castaneda’s magic and come back out the other side with her wits, and wit, intact. What’s more, she has remembered it all with a novelist’s eye and ear, so the result is a harrowing and vivid look at life inside a charismatic circle—the petty tyrannies, the abusive cruelties, the sometimes unintended silliness. If this remarkable book is evidence, what enabled her to survive Castaneda and his cult is a lucid, generous, often funny intelligence that spares no one, least of all herself." —Joe Kanon, author of Los Alamos "Amy Wallace expertly maps the territory where mysticism merges into insanity, or perhaps the unmarked land between screwball comedy and terrifying tragedy. I can’t recall a stranger, sadder narrative than this." —Carolyn See, author of Making a Literary Life "Amy Wallace’s compelling memoir reveals what some of us suspected all along: Don Juan’s teachings are a yucky way of knowledge." —Jon Winokur, author of The Portable Curmudgeon "Carlos Castaneda was one of the shapers of human consciousness during the period between the Beatles and the end of the twentieth century. After his death he remains a major spiritual and intellectual force. Yet he cast a schizophrenic shadow over our civilization. On the one hand, he taught us that we are here for a brief time in a beautiful, wondrous manifestation, and we must throw off the shackles of materialism, academic reductionism, and commercial distraction to realize our destiny, to experience the vast, untapped potential of our body-minds; on the other hand, he made the task so daunting and ultimately (if one reads him literally) terrifying and hopeless that he paralyzed many of his devotees and readers into inaction, submission, addictions, and denial. Amy Wallace has finally come along to liberate us from the spell. She says, ‘I will show you Carlos as he was. Follow the authentic spirit guide in him, but reject the manipulations of a tragically flawed and jealous guru. You are free to meet the Eagle on your own terms.’ " —Richard Grossinger, author of Planet Medicine "I read Sorcerer’s Apprentice with absolute fascination. Like millions of others, I had always wondered what was behind the Castaneda myth. My own life once gave me the choice of going down the guru path, a choice I rejected because, to me, it’s morally wrong for one person to claim closer knowledge of deity than any other. It’s always a lie, and the fearsome consequences of that lie in the life of the unfortunate creature who takes the guru path, as well as his followers, is exposed here with breathtaking candor. Sorcerer’s Apprentice is an extremely powerful book and fair warning both to those who would presume to claim special favor in the spirit, as well as those drawn by their own needs to such people. Amy Wallace warns us with her honesty and her careful attention to crucial emotional details, that guru-worship is a disease. For those who have wondered whether or not Castaneda’s various guides were real in some objective sense, reading this book will clear up the mysteries that need solving. But it is also a compassionate book, deeply so, because compassion inevitably flows from honesty of this high an order. It is a triumph of Amy Wallace’s heart to have written this, and I thank her for the wisdom and enrichment of spirit that reading it has given me." —Whitley Strieber, author of Communion

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Amy Wallace - daughter of novelist Irving Wallace - first met Carlos Castaneda and friends when she was a teenager through her father's social circle of celebrities. They met sporadically for many years, but through a fortuitous reconnection with Florinda Donner, one of the "witches" in Carlos' inner circle, she was drawn back to him and into his classes and lectures. Amy and Carlos fell in love, but she slowly learned that she was part of a harem. Yet she remained with the group because she is a spiritual seeker at heart, fascinated by the legend of Don Juan, and stubbornly attached to her lover.

Castaneda's circle of intimates included three very influential "witches," one "magical alien," and a shifting clique of people attracted by the books to pursue Infinity, the ultimate liberation. The cut-throat scramble to be part of the inner circle, the manipulative tactics of Castaneda, and the thrills and crushing disappointments experienced by ambitious followers all point to the inevitable conclusion: Castaneda created a cult and set himself up as guru. Wallace's story spans thirty years, focusing on the last years of Castaneda's life, until his death on June 19, 1998 from liver cancer and diabetes. His admirers sadly realized that this was "not the death of a nagual," who should "burn from within" and disappear into Infinity. Castaneda left his lovers, witches, students, fans, and groupies to grapple with the implosion of their fantasies.

Amy Wallace's true story paints a most disturbing portrait of Carlos Castaneda and his closest associates. Her own profound trauma, disillusionment, and shame caused Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, not uncommon for ex-members of any cult. Thewriting of this book was a part of her healing. Yet Wallace is able to separate the tawdry reality of a cult from the essential genius of Castaneda and the shining gems of wisdom that can be gleaned from his unique writings. Many people have said that real or fake, the books of Castan

FROM THE CRITICS

The Washington Post

The book is not artful. But it is a compelling page-turner, full of secrets, betrayals and uncharacterizable wackiness. Castaneda assured Wallace that his magic sperm went straight to a woman's brain, where it effected positive change -- and could not impregnate, as his lovers were merely human. He could read newspapers through his toes. With charisma based on such incredible claims, he kept everyone around him in constant anxiety by alternately offering warm approval and assaulting their inherent worth. — David Doherty

Library Journal