How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator: 4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.

Though it's being marketed as a humorous title--after all, it's unlikely you'll be called upon to land a plane, jump from a motorcycle to a moving car, or win a swordfight--the information contained in The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is all quite sound. Authors Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht consulted numerous experts in their fields (they're cited at the end of the book) to discover how to survive various and sundry awful events. Parachute doesn't open? Your best bet for survival is to hook your arms through the straps of a fellow jumper's chute--and even then you're likely to dislocate both shoulders and break both legs. Car sinking in water? Open the window immediately to equalize pressure, then open the car door and swim to the surface. Buried in an avalanche? Spit on the snow--it will tell you which direction is really up. Then dig as fast as you can.

Each survival skill is explained in simple steps with helpful illustrations. Most stress the need to be prepared--both mentally and physically. For example, to escape from quicksand, you will need to lay a pole on the surface of the quicksand, flop on your back atop the pole, and pull your legs out one by one. No pole? No luck. "When walking in quicksand country, carry a stout pole--it will help you get out should you need to."

Hopefully you'll never need to know how to build a fire without matches, perform a tracheotomy, or treat a bullet wound. But in the words of survival evasion resistance escape instructor "Mountain" Mel Deweese, "You never know." --Sunny Delaney

From Publishers Weekly
You've just leapt off a building and, noticing a Dumpster below, you thank your stars that you've spent several hours listening to this cassette, and you can now land in said Dumpster without breaking your back. Although it is rather unlikely that you will ever use any of the material presented in the book how to perform a tracheotomy, or bring a plane in for an emergency landing these things do happen every once in a while. To someone, somewhere maybe. So it couldn't hurt to bone up on some skills, right? Though neither written nor read in a humorous manner, the book nevertheless amuses in a strange way; the decision to group numerous bizarre crises into two hours of tape, not to mention some of the particularly far-fetched scenarios ("How to Leap from a Motorcycle to a Car" or "How to Escape from Killer Bees") often exceed our expectations of absurdity. You can imagine needing to know CPR some day, but how many of us will have the opportunity to wrestle free from an alligator? As a man who has seemingly leapt into Dumpsters and jumped into moving vehicles (or had a stunt double perform these things), Reynolds seems a wise choice for a reader. Unfortunately, his presentation is flat and unenthusiastic, and it sounds like he's reading the material for the first time. Misplaced emphases render several passages difficult to understand. However, Reynolds's familiar voice, combined with the offbeat material, affords some camp appeal in the tradition of outdated high school safety films. Based on the Chronicle paperback. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
Initially, this seems like a tongue-in-cheek self-help manual for bizarre situations, and while some of the disastrous encounters might seem farfetched, many will prove to be likely misadventures. Those most apt to be needed by ordinary folks include how to break down a door, how to deal with a downed power line, how to escape from a sinking car, how to treat frostbite, and how to avoid being struck by lightning. For the more adventurous souls, technical assistance is provided for how to escape from quicksand, how to land a plane, how to survive if your parachute fails to open, and how to get to the surface if your scuba tanks runs out of air. For every wild scenario (such as how to maneuver on top of a moving train) there is an equally plausible explanation for something probable, such as how to treat a leg fracture. There are some surprising bits of advice that are contrary to what most people believe such as not sucking out poisonous snake venom from a victim's wound, which will then poison the rescuer. The authors consulted experts in each field in order to provide the most accurate advice possible. Both Piven and Borgenicht are writers and editors and have experienced some dangerous encounters of their own. While some chapters will generate chuckles, others will make you pause to take notes, as you never know when you might find yourself in dire straits. Sure to be a big hit with teenage boys and adventurous types. Read by Burt Reynolds, this book is highly recommended for all public libraries. Gloria Maxwell, Penn Valley Community Coll., Kansas City, MO Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

The Washington Post
"Charming..."

USA Today
"This is a no-nonsense, no-fooling-around guide with straightforward information..."

From AudioFile
A perfect gag gift for worrywarts, this bestseller presents real solutions to various (mostly improbable) crises. The fun comes from flipping through it until an entry or illustration catches your eye. The authors seem to have intended it less as a real reference than as a tongue-in-cheek comment on the ilk. On tape, one cannot flip through. There's not much fun in just turning it on at the beginning and switching it off at the end--especially as read by Burt Reynolds. Not only is he obviously sight-reading without much comprehension, but he is doing so irritatingly thick-tongued. A quick and dirty job exploiting the popularity of the print original. Y.R. © AudioFile 2001, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Forbes
"How many book jackets have you seen bearing the words, 'This book can save your life!'? Finally a book that really, no kidding, could."

Book Description
Danger! It lurks at every corner. Volcanoes. Sharks. Mountain lions. Quicksand. Terrorists. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it's up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help survive the most harrowing predicaments: jam-packed with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, instructions on everything you need to know fast--from detecting a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab. Providing frightening and funny real information, this indispensable guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know... The authors have appeared on 20/20, Today, National Enquirer TV, as well as in Time, USA Today, The New Yorker, People, Forbes, The Washington Post, Glamour and Entertainment Weekly. #1 Los Angeles Times Nonfiction Paperback Bestseller #1 Amazon.com Nonfiction Paperback Bestseller New York Times Best-seller Publishers Weekly Best-Seller USA Today Best-seller

Download Description
Danger! It lurks at every corner. Volcanoes. Sharks. Quicksand. Terrorists. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it's up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help: jampacked with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, illustrated instructions on everything you need to know FAST -- from defusing a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab. Providing frightening and funny real information in the best-selling tradition of the Paranoid's Pocket Guide and Hypochondriac's Handbook, this indispensable, indestructible pocket-sized guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know...

About the Author
Joshua Piven, a resident of Philadelphia, is a computer journalist and freelance writer, and is a former editor at Ziff-Davis Publishing. He has been chased by knife-weilding motorcycle bandits, stuck in subway tunnels, been robbed and mugged, has had to break down doors and pick locks, and his computer crashes regularly. David Borgenicht, a resident of Philadelphia, is a writer and editor who has written several nonfiction books. He has ridden in heavily-armored vehicles in Pakistan, stowed away on Amtrak, been conned by a grifter, broken into several houses (each for good reason), and has "borrowed" mini-bottles from the drink cart on delta.

FROM OUR EDITORS

If you've never had to escape from a sinking car, fend off a shark, or deal with a charging bull, you should thank your lucky stars. And then you should pick up The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook. The book provides tongue-in-cheek instructions on how to free oneself from the grip of an alligator, jump from a building into a dumpster, and survive a host of other dangerous, albeit unlikely, situations. For some, The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook will simply be outrageous, humorous entertainment. But for those who are accident-prone or who constantly find themselves in the wrong place (like the mouth of an alligator) at the wrong time (dinnertime), it may actually be a lifesaver. Whether you're looking for laughs or advice, The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook should be required reading.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Danger! It lurks at every corner. Volcanoes. Sharks. Mountain lions. Quicksand. Terrorists. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it's up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help survive the most harrowing predicaments: jam-packed with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, instructions on everything you need to know fast--from detecting a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab.

Providing frightening and funny real information, this indispensable guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know...

About the Authors: Joshua Piven, a resident of Philadelphia, is a computer journalist and freelance writer, and is a former editor at Ziff-Davis Publishing. He has been chased by knife-weilding motorcycle bandits, stuck in subway tunnels, been robbed and mugged, has had to break down doors and pick locks, and his computer crashes regularly.

David Borgenicht, a resident of Philadelphia, is a writer and editor who has written several nonfiction books. He has ridden in heavily-armored vehicles in Pakistan, stowed away on Amtrak, been conned by a grifter, broken into several houses (each for good reason), and has "borrowed" mini-bottles from the drink cart on Delta.

FROM THE CRITICS

USA Today

Those with deep-seated fears about killer bees, quicksand, mountain lions and sharks will enjoy The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht , a handy little book for the extremely prepared that is climbing the best-seller list.

Just so you know right away, the first rule of survival is Do Not Panic. The last rule is Learn to Return. There are a lot of rules in between. This handbook tells how to get out of 40 bad situations, "pretty much a scary scenario for everyone," Piven says. Experts were consulted. The longest scenario (six pages) tells how to land a small passenger plane in case the pilot can't.

Everything signals seriousness. The cover (yellow-orange like traffic signs, school buses, No. 2 pencils) conveys caution, safety. The language is plain (scant adjectives) and formal (no contractions). The black-and-white drawings were inspired by that survival bible, The Boy Scout Handbook. This book is serious right down to the warning in the beginning: "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO UNDERTAKE ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES DESCRIBED IN THIS BOOK YOURSELF."

This is a no-nonsense, no-fooling-around guide with straightforward information. But fear not: The authors have enough perspective to acknowledge the campy appeal of an armchair guide for the anxious. "We thought it would be funny to people," Borgenicht says.

They were, he says, "inspired by pop culture as much as by paranoia - most of the scenarios we talk about were a TV or a movie scene."

Sharks, the authors say, scared both of them to pieces in childhood.

Blame it on Jaws.

Forbes

How many book jackets have you seen bearing the words, "This book can save your life!"? Finally a book that really, no kidding, could.

USA Today

This is a no-nonsense, no-fooling-around guide with straightforward information. But fear not. The authors have enough perspective to acknowledge the campy appeal of an armchair guide for the anxious.

Publishers Weekly

In The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook (1999), Piven, Borgenicht and Worick taught readers how to escape from quicksand and jump from bridges. It's relatively simple to calculate a shark's actions, they say, but human nature is much less predictable. Here, they tell single listeners how to get away from "Mr. or Ms. Wrong." Punctuated with cheesy synthesizer music akin to a demo on a Casio keyboard, Hamilton first gives a disclaimer "breaking a heart is one thing; breaking the law is another" then, in a matter-of-fact style, she tells how to deal with the hazards of romance from bars and bedrooms to airplane lavatories. As if reading from a driving manual, she tells listeners how to remove difficult articles of clothing, fake an orgasm, deal with a drunken date, handle a bad kisser and deliver a pick-up line. Wondering if your date is an axe murderer? Find out if he was sexually abused as a child and has an obsession with matches. Not sure of the gender of your date? Look at his or her hand and be suspicious of baggy clothing. Need to sober up fast? Avoid aspirin and drink lots of water. Although much of this advice sounds silly, the authors' suggestions are completely serious, and Hamilton delivers them that way, e.g., straightforwardly explaining how to spot breast implants by checking out www.implantinfo.com. Based on the Chronicle paperback. (Jan.)n Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

Library Journal

Expertly read by Laura Hamilton, this amusing and, at times, scary book follows the general outline of the other "worst-case" titles. Experts offer insights on many common and uncommon disasters that can occur when people date and enter into, or fall out of, relationships. This tape is definitely geared toward consenting adults (how to have sex in small spaces), yet it also offers practical information for someone just entering or reentering the dating scene (how to deal with a bad kisser; what to do if your credit card is declined). Ethics sometimes takes a back seat to practical considerations: for instance, searching your lover's belongings to determine if he/she is married. While certainly the tone of the book makes for humorous listening, a lot of the advice is very sensible and covers issues not easily found in other resources. One won't be able to create a healthy relationship using this audio; one will gain insight on how to slide out of a bad one. Recommended for public libraries where the series is popular. - Kathleen A. Sullivan, Phoenix P.L. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information. Read all 7 "From The Critics" >

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